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There have been a major advances in technology over recent decades and this has led to significant improvements in people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree v.1

There have been a major advances in technology over recent decades and this has led to significant improvements in people's lives. v. 1
In the past few decades, people have witnessed many technological advancements. In fact, these improvements considerably enhanced people's lifestyle. I agree with this view. Firstly, this essay will discuss about the recent technological developments and secondly, discuss how these developments ameliorated people's lives. Telecommunication sector has noticed a remarkable development in recent past. Each and every individual, now, holds a smartphone. This, in turn, paved way for social media development. It is true that social media have become the key to achieve our desires. Either it can be the power or can be the money. Data Analytics plays the role behind the screen. For example, Data from Facebook and Twitter has been used for Digital Marketing. Hashtag culture has influenced many political changes. Furthermore, telecommunication has set the platform for the medical advancements. We, now, have many video conferencing applications through which Doctors can do consult patients without physical presence wherever applicable. With no doubt, people's lifestyle has witnessed exceptional changes through the technologies. As highlighted above, smartphone is one of the key innovations. With a smartphone, everything on the internet is available and accessible to everyone. For instance, earlier, a person in a remote village doesn't have much exposure to current affairs across the world. But, it is not the case now. There are many live news applications delivers information to us within minutes. Moreover, many YouTube channels and online video applications have emphasized the quality of education for students. In conclusion, it is true that technology has improved a lot in the past few decades across various sectors and upgraded people's lifestyle. Although, it has got some flip sides, with proper guidance, technology can be used to enrich individual's life.
In the past few decades,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have witnessed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
technological advancements. In fact, these improvements
considerably
enhanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
lifestyle. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view.
Firstly
, this essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
recent technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
and
secondly
, discuss how these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
ameliorated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Telecommunication sector has noticed a remarkable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
in recent past. Each and every individual,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, holds a smartphone. This, in turn, paved way for social media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. It is true that social media have become the key to achieve our desires. Either it can be the power or can be the money. Data Analytics plays the role behind the screen.
For example
, Data from Facebook and Twitter has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for Digital Marketing. Hashtag culture has influenced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
political
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
Furthermore
, telecommunication has set the platform for the medical advancements. We,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
video conferencing applications through which Doctors can do consult patients without physical presence wherever applicable.

With no doubt,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
lifestyle has witnessed exceptional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
through the technologies. As highlighted above, smartphone is one of the key innovations. With a smartphone, everything on the internet is available and accessible to everyone.
For instance
, earlier, a person in a remote village doesn't have much exposure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
affairs across the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, it is not the case
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
news applications delivers information to us within minutes.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
YouTube channels and online video applications have emphasized the quality of education for students.

In conclusion
, it is true that technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
a lot in the past few decades across various sectors and upgraded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
lifestyle. Although, it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
flip sides, with proper guidance, technology can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to enrich individual's life.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay There have been a major advances in technology over recent decades and this has led to significant improvements in people's lives. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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