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There have been major advances in technology, over recent decades, and this has led to significant improvement in people's lives, to what extent do you agree or disagree.

There have been major advances in technology, over recent decades, and this has led to significant improvement in people's lives, GY6w
It is true that technology has improved during last decades. Some people believe that this has made people's lives much better. I generally agree that technology has many positive effects on our lives but we cannot ignore negative aspects as well. Technology has made our lives much more convenient. Firstly, nowadayspeople do not need to be in the office to handle their job due to existence of laptops, tablets and smartphones in everyone's house. Therefore, it is enough to sit in a place, it can be home coffee shop or even on the boss, then you can communicate with your colleagues, or even participate in an important meetings, via internet technology also increase life expectancy. It means that these advances has led to significant improvement in medical field, researchers and experts have succeeded to find out many effective cures for those who are disappointed For example, in the past, there is no reliable solution for a cancer but today many patients could treat by advanced modern equipments. Another reason is that technology entertain people during the day, it can be seen that social media such as Instagram or WhatsApp, have a noticeable role in people's lives. They spend some times in these platform. In order to chat, explore new issues watch funny videos, and also they like to post the moments in order to share feelings with people. Hence technology plays an important role in our lives from different perspectives. It is true that positive impacts of technology are undeniable. But people cannot neglect the negative sides of it in life. The first problem with using technology is that people become so lazy. Nowadays the availability of internet and devices like vacuum cleaners, or dishwashers caused a reduction of physical movements. This lack of movement leads to gain weight. In some cases may also cause obesity because people especially teenagers, spend a lot of times in social media, and they don't understand, even the track of time, so they spent more than three times in Instagram or other applications every day. Another problem is that technology may reduce social interaction, every day from morning till night, people have a chance to communicate with others, they can be colleagues, or even strangers. It can be in the office in the restaurant or under boss, they can talk about business issues with coworkers or talk about routines, with ordinary people, while technology decrease the possibility of communication with normal people, because most of people prefer to control everything via internet instead of being in a place. In conclusion, technology has a significant role in people's lives, either positive or negative, in fact positive points are so many that the negatives can be ignored.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
during last decades.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this has made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
much better. I
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
effects on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
aspects
as well
.

Technology has made our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
much more convenient.
Firstly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
nowadayspeople
do not need to be in the office to handle their job due to existence of laptops, tablets and smartphones in everyone's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to sit in a place, it can be home coffee shop or even on the boss, then you can communicate with your colleagues, or even participate in an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "meeting"?
meetings
, via internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
also
increase life expectancy. It means that these advances has led to significant improvement in medical field, researchers and experts have succeeded to find out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
effective cures for those who
are disappointed
For example
, in the past, there is no reliable solution for a cancer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
patients could treat by advanced modern equipments. Another reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
entertain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
during the day, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that social media such as Instagram or WhatsApp, have a noticeable role in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. They spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
in these platform. In order to chat, explore new issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
videos, and
also
they like to post the moments in order to share feelings with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspectives. It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
impacts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are undeniable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot neglect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
sides of it in life. The
first
problem with using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
lazy. Nowadays the availability of internet and devices like vacuum cleaners, or dishwashers caused a reduction of physical movements. This lack of movement leads to gain weight. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases may
also
cause obesity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
in social media, and they don't understand, even the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they spent more than three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
in Instagram or other applications every day. Another problem is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
social interaction, every day from morning till night,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a chance to communicate with others, they can be colleagues, or even strangers. It can be in the office in the restaurant or under boss, they can talk about business issues with coworkers or talk about routines, with ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
decrease the possibility of communication with normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to control everything via internet
instead
of being in a place.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has a significant role in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
, in fact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
points are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that the negatives can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
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IELTS essay There have been major advances in technology, over recent decades, and this has led to significant improvement in people's lives,

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
451 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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