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There are some motives for people to work. Some people think Manish most important do you agree or disagree

There are some motives for people to work. Some people think Manish most important e8bgV
There is no denying in this conviction that money play a paramount significant role in everyone's life. Everyone in this world work for various purpose they have different opinions and aims. Some people reckon that money is the most important reason to work I will discuss this points in the forthcoming paragraph along with my opinion. To commence with, there are numerous factors that play imperative role in doing a job rather than earning money. The first and foremost one is pleasure. In other words, some people accomplish job to satisfy their desires owing to the fact that they are interested in that kind of field that is why they prefer to do job whether it is part time or full time. For example, some people working Charity organisation because they want to help the underprivileged people and get happiness by assisting them. In addition to aforementioned points, the second reason that also a main motive of people to do work that is opportunity to learn and get experience. To explain it, usually youngsters prefer to accomplished job in order to get experience regarding the field so that in future they become expert in their particular course even its less paid jobs but they feel that they are learning something new that is lucrative in their future. For instance some people accomplished work so that they can get experience certificates even weather they are less that they accepted. On the contrary, these days everyone wants to live comfortably and have a high living standard that is why they prefer to involve in that kind of jobs that provide them handsome salary even they are not satisfied with them but they accomplished it. Money also important because it reflect our social status almost everyone would refuse to work if they offered no money. In conclusion, although money is important motivation for work yet I believe that there are other factors that also main reason behind accomplishing the job and without that factors person cannot get happiness in their life.
There is no denying in this conviction that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
play a paramount significant role in everyone's life. Everyone in this world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for various purpose they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions and aims.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reckon that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
I will discuss this points in the forthcoming paragraph along with my opinion.

To commence with, there are numerous factors that play imperative role in doing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
rather
than earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. The
first
and foremost one is pleasure.
In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
accomplish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
to satisfy their desires owing to the fact that they
are interested
in that kind of field
that is
why they prefer to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
whether it is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
or full time.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working Charity
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the underprivileged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
happiness by assisting them.

In addition
to aforementioned points, the second reason that
also
a main motive of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
that is
opportunity to learn and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
experience. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it,
usually
youngsters prefer to accomplished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
experience regarding the field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that in future they become expert in their particular course even its less paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they feel that they are learning something new
that is
lucrative in their future.
For instance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
accomplished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
experience certificates even weather they are less that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
.

On the contrary
, these days everyone wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
comfortably
and have a high living standard
that is
why they prefer to involve in that kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that provide them handsome salary even they are not satisfied with them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they accomplished it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
Did you mean "reflects"?
reflect
our social status almost everyone would refuse to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
if they offered no money.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
motivation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
yet
I believe that there are other factors that
also
main reason behind accomplishing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and without that factors person cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
happiness in their life.
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IELTS essay There are some motives for people to work. Some people think Manish most important

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
338 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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