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There are numerous discussions regarding ways to improve public health.Some people believe increasing sport facilities is the best way to improve public health whereas others disagree with this view.

There are numerous discussions regarding ways to improve public health. Some people believe increasing sport facilities is the best way to improve public health whereas others disagree with this view. N8w3j
There are numerous discussions regarding ways to improve public health. Some people believe increasing sport facilities is the best way to improve public health whereas others disagree with this view. Even though, There is no doubt the impact sport has on public health, the type of public health issues differ greatly depending on the country's level of development. In developed countries, chronic illness like hypertension and diabetes are quite common whereas in developing ones, infectious diseases tend to constitute the majority of health issues. Although increasing sport facilities is definitely one of the numerous ways to target public issues, it might not be at the top of the solutions. Exercise has more direct relation in improving health issues related to weight reduction and the chronic ones. With out incorporation public education and emphasize on healthy diet programmes, Sport alone has little effect. In relation to diseases like infectious ones, it is better to focus on creating awareness on prevention and treatment ways. I strongly believe building more sports facilities would provide people the opportunity to be fit and this has a positive effect on the general public health. However this should be supported by including fitness programmes in the school curriculum, creating awareness on the benefits of healthy diet and also emphasizing on ways to change lifestyle, especially with more focus on the youth. There community as a whole should find ways to keep their children engage in outdoor activities and avoid consumption of fast food. In summary, I believe building more sports facilities is one of the ways to improve public health. It will have more impact when incorporated with other programmes.
There are numerous discussions regarding
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ways
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
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public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities is the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
whereas others disagree with this view.

Even though
, There is no doubt the impact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
has on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, the type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues differ
greatly
depending on the country's level of development. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
, chronic illness like hypertension and diabetes are quite common whereas in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
, infectious diseases tend to constitute the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues.

Although increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities is definitely one of the numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to target
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
issues, it might not be at the top of the solutions. Exercise has more direct relation in improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues related to weight reduction and the chronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
This word is usually written together. Did you mean "without"?
With out
incorporation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
education and emphasize on healthy diet
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sport
alone has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
effect. In relation to diseases like infectious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
, it is better to focus on creating awareness on prevention and treatment ways.

I
strongly
believe building more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities would provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
the opportunity to
be fit
and this has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on the general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
this should
be supported
by including fitness
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
in the school curriculum, creating awareness on the benefits of healthy diet and
also
emphasizing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
lifestyle,
especially
with more focus on the youth. There community as a whole should find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their children engage in outdoor activities and avoid consumption of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food.

In summary, I believe building more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities is one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. It will have more impact when incorporated with other
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
.
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IELTS essay There are numerous discussions regarding ways to improve public health. Some people believe increasing sport facilities is the best way to improve public health whereas others disagree with this view.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
273 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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