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There are more workers working from home and more students studying from home. This is because computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

There are more workers working from home and more students studying from home. This is because computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? 0pd0n
The increasing affordability of modern technologies such as computers and smartphones has facilitated teleworking and virtual learning. As such, there has been a progressive increase in the number of remote workers and learners in many parts of the world. While the shift towards working and studying from home may cause some problems, the overall impact has been tremendously positive. Admittedly, the drawbacks of remote working and learning are evident. As for the former, teleworkers are more susceptible to psychological problems such as boredom and depression due to the lack of face-to-face interaction with their colleagues. In addition, adults who opt for working from home for childcare reasons tend to find it hard to concentrate on their work, hence lower productivity. Similar challenges are found in internet-based learning. Online lessons lack the element of competition that traditional classes offer, and there is inevitably less direct interaction between students and teachers. These factors may negatively affect students’ motivation to study, leading to lower academic results. Despite the negatives mentioned above, the benefits of the trend towards learning and working remotely are more significant. On an individual level, while distant learners can study whenever and wherever is convenient, teleworkers can still take care of their children or elderly members and earn money at the same time. They also have complete freedom to design their learning and working environment to best suit their personal preferences and needs, enhancing their productivity and creativity. On a business level, institutions and companies allowing distant learning and remote working can reduce operation costs in the form of fewer classrooms and offices, and lower electricity bills. In conclusion, I believe that the advantages of the decision to study or work from home outstrip the disadvantages. This is provided that virtual learners and teleworkers eliminate possible distractions at home and socialize with their neighbors and friends so that their productivity and mental health are not affected.
The increasing affordability of modern technologies such as computers and smartphones has facilitated teleworking and virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
. As such, there has been a progressive increase in the number of remote workers and learners in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world. While the shift towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
and studying from home may cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems, the
overall
impact has been
tremendously
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
.
Admittedly
, the drawbacks of remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
are evident. As for the former, teleworkers are more susceptible to psychological problems such as boredom and depression due to the lack of face-to-face interaction with their colleagues.
In addition
, adults who opt for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home for childcare reasons tend to find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to concentrate on their work,
hence
lower productivity. Similar challenges
are found
in internet-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
. Online lessons lack the element of competition that traditional classes offer, and there is
inevitably
less direct interaction between students and teachers. These factors may
negatively
affect students’ motivation to study, leading to lower academic results. Despite the negatives mentioned above, the benefits of the trend towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
remotely
are more significant. On an individual level, while distant learners can study whenever and wherever is convenient, teleworkers can
still
take care of their children or elderly members and earn money at the same time. They
also
have complete freedom to design their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment to best suit their personal preferences and needs, enhancing their productivity and creativity. On a business level, institutions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
allowing distant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
and remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
operation costs in the form of fewer classrooms and offices, and lower electricity bills.

In conclusion
, I believe that the advantages of the decision to study or work from home outstrip the disadvantages. This
is provided
that virtual learners and teleworkers eliminate possible distractions at home and socialize with their neighbors and friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that their productivity and mental health are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.
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IELTS essay There are more workers working from home and more students studying from home. This is because computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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