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There are more workers working at home and more students studying at home, because the computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

There are more workers working at home and more students studying at home, because the computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? yQ3E
Nowadays, more and more people and students choose working and studying remote, because of accessibility and costless of technology. In my opinion, it is both positive and negative developments. On the one hand, working and studying at home are positive developments. Firstly, working and studying remote are cheapest. Meaning that, it is affordable for all layers of society. This is because, in doing so, people economize money, on the ground that teleworking and online studying do not involve commuting to workplace or university. Individuals with average salary are riped-off by high cost of public transports, for example. . Secondly, by working and studying remote, workers and students not only economize their money, but also time. In other words, people spend for commuting two- three hours in a day. The main reason is that, there are many cancellations, breakdowns, and traffic congestions, which lead to waste time, as a result. That is why, by means of studying and working remote, people may economize their money and time as well. On the other hand, this is negative developments. First and foremost, it leads to isolation. To be more precise, every individual need in communication. Due to studying and working remote, people may feel loneliness. Besides that, studying and working remote may cause unproductiveness. For instance, in workplace or university people get motivated by atmosphere. But home atmosphere creates laziness, which leads to decline in work and academic performance, as a result. In conclusion, costless and time- saving, as well as, isolation and unproductiveness are main reason, why I think that this trend is both positive and negative.
Nowadays, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and students choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of accessibility and
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costless
of technology. In my opinion, it is both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
developments.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
at home are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
developments.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
are cheapest. Meaning that, it is affordable for all layers of society. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, in doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
economize money, on the ground that teleworking and online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
do not involve commuting to workplace or university. Individuals with average salary are
Possible spelling mistake found.
riped-off
by high cost of public transports,
for example
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Secondly
, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
, workers and students not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
economize their money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend for commuting two- three hours in a day. The main reason is that, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cancellations, breakdowns, and traffic congestions, which lead to waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
as a result
.
That is
why, by means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may economize their money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as well
.

On the other hand
, this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
developments.
First
and foremost, it leads to isolation. To be more precise, every individual need in communication. Due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may feel loneliness.
Besides
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
may cause
Possible spelling mistake found.
unproductiveness
.
For instance
, in workplace or university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
motivated by atmosphere.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
home atmosphere creates laziness, which leads to decline in work and academic performance,
as a result
.

In conclusion
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
costless
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time-
saving,
as well
as, isolation and
Possible spelling mistake found.
unproductiveness
are main reason, why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this trend is both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.
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IELTS essay There are more workers working at home and more students studying at home, because the computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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