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Some believe that fast food is good for people despite opponents' points.Discuss and give your own opinion

Some believe that fast food is good for people despite opponents' points. Discuss and give your own opinion G17g
People's opinions differ as to whether or not consumption of fast food plays a key role in human health. While there are some strong arguments for eating fast food, I still believe that it can not substitute organic foods. There are several reasons why people might support that fast food utilization appears to be entirely beneficial and advantageous. First and foremost, there is an evidence to advocate the idea that with a help of fast food, people, notably, employers employed on full-time jobs can save their time so greatly, and make a comeback so promptly, that it is liable to boost punctuality. On top of that, many sociologists would agree that it is a right approach that makes money reduce a wide range of extravagances -- eating system of students being in poorer socio-economic status, for example. Last but not least, it is recognised that fast food cafés creation may contribute to enhance workplaces by means of taking on work as such. In spite of the above arguments, I maintain the view that fast food is one the unhealthy foods. The main drawback of fast food usage is that it can lead to an explosion in demand for increasing obesity rate dramatically as well as overwhelmingly given having no wholegrains and essential parts, which provide human bodies with necessary nutritional aspects, such as vitamins and protiens alike. In doing so, adiposity may trigger psychological disorders considering low quality of food. For instance, by consuming not only half-ready meal, but also fast food, consumers might encounter some problems, like depression. In my view, it is genuinely fat better to eat hight quality of food, espesially home-cooked meals, than its counterpart. All things considered, it can be concluded that eating fast food certainly has its benefits, but I believe that the drawbacks outweight them in the long term.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
's opinions differ
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
as to whether or not
consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
plays a key role in human health. While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strong arguments for eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, I
still
believe that it can not substitute organic foods.

There are several reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might support that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
utilization appears to be
entirely
beneficial and advantageous.
First
and foremost, there is an evidence to advocate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
notably
, employers employed on full-time jobs can save their time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
greatly
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a comeback
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
promptly
, that it is liable to boost punctuality.
On top of that
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sociologists would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is a right approach that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
a wide range of extravagances -- eating system of students being in poorer
Possible spelling mistake found.
socio-economic
status,
for example
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, it is
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
cafés creation may contribute to enhance workplaces by means of taking on work as such.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the above arguments, I maintain the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
Did you mean "one of"?
one
the unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. The main drawback of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
usage is that it can lead to an explosion in demand for increasing obesity rate
dramatically
as well
as
overwhelmingly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
having no
Possible spelling mistake found.
wholegrains
and essential parts, which provide human bodies with necessary nutritional aspects, such as vitamins and
Possible spelling mistake found.
protiens
alike. In doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
adiposity
may trigger psychological disorders considering low quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
For instance
, by consuming not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
half-ready meal,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, consumers might encounter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems, like depression. In my view, it is
genuinely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
better to eat
Possible spelling mistake found.
hight
quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
espesially
home-cooked meals, than its counterpart.

All things considered, it can
be concluded
that eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
certainly
has its benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that the drawbacks
Possible spelling mistake found.
outweight
them in the long term.
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IELTS essay Some believe that fast food is good for people despite opponents' points. Discuss and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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