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Some people belive that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or to valuable to be shared freely.

Some people belive that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or to valuable to be shared freely. xJqQ
It is commonly argued that some secret or information about business and secret should be hidden from society. while others think that, it should be free shared for people. I hold the view that it would be better for people, if some organization shared valuable information. It is a fact that every business or science organization always hides some date from society due to security and income of company. In other words, a company is not able to demonstrate all information such as, income business plans or anything else find is shared free, it can influence negatively for business organization. Give an obvious illustration to this, a company also enables to shareinformation, even though it is fully legal. Explanation to this when company give information of or secrets of their business it can likely impact negatively or plans of company can be weakened. Consequently, it can be main factor of crisis in company. On the other hand security of science research has to be free-shared. Whenever company supplies date for people individual can improve their view point about business accordingly, people can acquire knowledge but particularly it is considered to develop own business. For instance today, vast majority of young people want to enroll their own science business it would possibly optimal way to obtain some trip or recommendation from progressing company. Taking everything into account in fact when companies provide date and express support by giving tip, it can be certainly help to developing works of young generation and young entrepreneurs own company.
It is
commonly
argued that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
secret or information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and secret should
be hidden
from society.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, it should be free shared for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I hold the view that it would be better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
organization shared valuable information.

It is a fact that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
or science organization always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
date from society due to security and income of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
In other words
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is not able to demonstrate all information such as, income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
plans or anything else find
is shared
free, it can influence
negatively
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
organization. Give an obvious illustration to this, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
also
enables to
Possible spelling mistake found.
shareinformation
,
even though
it is
fully
legal. Explanation to this when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
give information of or secrets of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
it can likely impact
negatively
or plans of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
can
be weakened
.
Consequently
, it can be main factor of crisis in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
On the other hand
security of science research
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be free-shared. Whenever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
supplies date for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
individual can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their view point about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
accordingly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can acquire knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
particularly
it
is considered
to develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
For instance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
It seems that an article is missing.
vast majority of
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to enroll their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
it would
possibly
optimal way to obtain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
trip or recommendation from progressing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

Taking everything into account in fact when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
provide date and express support by giving tip, it can be
certainly
Consider using a past participle here: "helped".
help
to developing works of young generation and young entrepreneurs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
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IELTS essay Some people belive that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or to valuable to be shared freely.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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