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There are more nowadays it is more important public shopping centre for individual to spend agree or disagree

There are more nowadays it is more important public shopping centre for individual to spend agree or disagree APRGL
Indeed, thesedays the construction of new cities is increasing. The public areas such as local parks and sports facilities are essential for the general public rather than the shopping complex in order to spend their recreational time. In my opinion, this approach has plethora of benefits which would help ones to exercise as well as good for environment, which will be discussed in ensuring paragraphs. Embarking with the positive concerns, some people support this view. The most prominent one os that, it is good for doing physical exercise. To be more precise, if parks and sports clubs can be built, it will promote physical fitness among the youth as well as adults. This is to say that, it helps teenagers to exercise in a free and open area instead of going to gyms with the large amount of cost. As a result, the good quality of air leads to the better respiratory system which increase life expectancy. For example, a recent survey was conducted by the concerned authorities which revealed that, in the America, the average life of person is 90 years due to good health and their immune system; therefore they use green areas for exercise which helps them to become fit and agile. Thus, it is important to build parks for health benefits. What is more, stadiums and parks helps the older people to find friends and neighbourhood. Primarily, those who are aged they get bore in home because they are bot working even they are not able to work. So, if they go to those place they can find new friends also they can meet them on daily basis. Moreover, they can share their views and feelings with others. Eventually, building shopping centres would be to some extent convenient which means that, one can buy things very easily as they do not have to cover longer journeys in order to buy something. Apart from that, it help in decreasing unemployment in some areas because if shopping malls would be built then they need work force to regulate it. In conclusion, I retrieve my opinion although construction of shopping mall to have some positive aspects yet building public areas in sports facilities would be more than beneficial because it promotes fitness and neighbourhood among individuals.
Indeed
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
thesedays
the construction of new cities is increasing. The public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
such as local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and sports facilities are essential for the
Consider using "public".
general public
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
complex in order to spend their recreational time. In my opinion, this approach has plethora of benefits which would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
ones to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for environment, which will
be discussed
in ensuring paragraphs.

Embarking with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
concerns,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
support this view. The most prominent one
Possible spelling mistake found.
os
that, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for doing physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
. To be more precise, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and sports clubs can
be built
, it will promote physical fitness among the youth
as well
as adults. This is to say that, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
in a free and open
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
instead
of going to gyms with the large amount of cost.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
quality of air leads to the better respiratory system which increase life expectancy.
For example
, a recent survey
was conducted
by the concerned authorities which revealed that, in the America, the average life of person is 90 years due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
health and their immune system;
therefore
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to become fit and agile.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
for health benefits.

What is more
, stadiums and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to find friends and
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
.
Primarily
, those who
are aged
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bore in home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are bot working even they are not able to work.
“So , if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So, if
they go to those place they can find new friends
also
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
them on daily basis.
Moreover
, they can share their views and feelings with others.

Eventually
, building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
would be to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent convenient which means that, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
as they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
cover longer journeys in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something. Apart from that, it
Did you mean "helps"?
help
in decreasing unemployment in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls would
be built
then they need work force to regulate it.

In conclusion
, I retrieve my opinion although construction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
mall to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects
yet
building public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
in sports facilities would be more than beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it promotes fitness and
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
among individuals.
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IELTS essay There are more nowadays it is more important public shopping centre for individual to spend agree or disagree

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
377 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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