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There are more new towns being built nowadays. it is more important to include public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres.

There are more new towns being built nowadays. it is more important to include public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres. rGqep
The new towns are being increasing nowadays because of growth of the population. Therefore some of debate about, there should be more public parks and sport facilities instead of shopping malls for individuals leisure time. I intend to dvelve into further for both advantages and disadvantages. The public park is much important for old people and family. The main reason is they can spend their quality time during retirement and with theire childrens. Secondaly, nowadays sport culture is became very famous because of olympic games, youngster needs to improve theire skills to sports activities and with sport facilities they may have the right equiepments and trainers as they want. For example, government make cricket ground and they also provided some good coch then intrested youngster can follow their passion. Town developments also need big shopping centre so resident can utilitate their essential needs. Furthermore, they can relax after shopping on air conditioning facilities on malls. Moreover, vendors can benefited with arising compitition. The main reason is that people have convient option to buy all the things in one place therefore, sells will increase and shops owners take huge advantage of that to grow their business. To put in to the nutshell, it can be conclude that, development of town need public gardens so elderly people can enjoy their free time and sport clubs to motivate youngster and fullfil their sports dream. With that shopping centre is the most mendatory part of local's daily life to buy essentials and bussines men also can take advantage of that thus both things are nesessary for right balence of town growth.
The new towns are being increasing nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of growth of the population.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
Consider using "some debate" or "some of the debate".
some of debate
about, there should be more public parks and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls for individuals leisure time. I intend to
Possible spelling mistake found.
dvelve
into
further
for both advantages and disadvantages.

The public park is much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and family. The main reason is they can spend their quality time during retirement and with
Possible spelling mistake found.
theire
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Secondaly
, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
culture is
Consider using a past participle here: "become".
became
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
olympic games
, youngster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
Possible spelling mistake found.
theire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activities and with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities they may have the right
Possible spelling mistake found.
equiepments
and trainers as they want.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
cricket
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
ground and
they
also
provided
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake found.
coch
then
Possible spelling mistake found.
intrested
youngster can follow their passion.

Town developments
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
resident can
Possible spelling mistake found.
utilitate
their essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
.
Furthermore
, they can relax after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
on air conditioning facilities on malls.
Moreover
, vendors can benefited with arising
Possible spelling mistake found.
compitition
. The main reason is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
Possible spelling mistake found.
convient
option to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
all the things in one place
therefore
, sells will increase and shops owners take huge advantage of that to grow their business.

To put in to the nutshell, it can be
Consider using the past participle "concluded"?
conclude
that, development of town
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
public gardens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can enjoy their free time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
clubs to motivate youngster and
Possible spelling mistake found.
fullfil
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
dream. With that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
is the most
Possible spelling mistake found.
mendatory
part of local's daily life to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
essentials and
Possible spelling mistake found.
bussines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
also
can take advantage of that
thus
both things are
Possible spelling mistake found.
nesessary
for right
Possible spelling mistake found.
balence
of town growth.
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IELTS essay There are more new towns being built nowadays. it is more important to include public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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