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Children are now watching more television than they have ever done before. What are some of the negative effects of children watching a lot of television? Do you think young children should be allowed to watch television?

Children are now watching more television than they have ever done before. What are some of the negative effects of children watching a lot of television? Do you think young children should be allowed to watch television? KlRwN
Television has become a major part in a child's daily activity in the last few decades, reflecting the ever-rising development of technology. Accordingly, children could spend hours on their favourite reality shows or cartoon movies; as a result, they forget their responsibilities as children as well as students. Although television has some drawbacks on children, I still believe that children should be permitted to watch television provided that their parents are present. Since the advent of television, this electronic has been developing and attracting more people, especially children, than it used to because of the varieties of modern shows nowadays. Consequently, children become more interested in cartoon movies or reality shows and spend more time on them than on their school assignments. They neglect their duties to study and perform well at school due to less interest in them. Furthermore, by ignoring their homework, it means that they do not try to make their parents proud of their grades, which will eventually impact their attitudes and respects for others in the future. However, even though television could affect children negatively, in my view, it still necessary for them to watch moderate amount of suitable movies and shows. Studies conducted by scientist in Europe has shown that appropriate content for children could actually improve their critical thinking and problem solving skills. Additionally, parental guidance is crucial for children whenever they watch television because parents or other family members could monitor the content of the shows and the amount of time that their children spent on television. Therefore, the children are still in control, and they will not neglect their school assignments for fun. In conclusion, television could be harmful for children's habits and attitudes if it is not used wisely. In contrast, if parents monitor their children activities on watching television, it could actually be beneficial for the children's skill in solving problems and thinking critically. Hence, I believe that children should be allowed to watch television in moderation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
has become a major part in a child's daily activity in the last few decades, reflecting the ever-rising development of technology.
Accordingly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could spend hours on their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
reality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
or cartoon movies;
as a result
, they forget their responsibilities as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as well
as students. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, I
still
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be permitted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
provided that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are present.

Since the advent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, this electronic has been developing and attracting more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, than it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the varieties of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
nowadays.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become more interested in cartoon movies or reality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
and spend more time on them than on their school assignments. They neglect their duties to study and perform well at school due to less interest in them.
Furthermore
, by ignoring their homework, it means that they do not try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
proud of their grades, which will
eventually
impact their attitudes and respects for others in the future.

However
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
could affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
negatively
, in my view,
It seems that a verb is missing.
it
still
necessary for them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
moderate amount of suitable movies and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
. Studies conducted by scientist in Europe has shown that appropriate content for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their critical thinking and problem solving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Additionally
, parental guidance is crucial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
whenever they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or other family members could monitor the content of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
and the amount of time that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
still
in control, and they will not neglect their school assignments for fun.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
could be harmful for children's habits and attitudes if it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
wisely
.
In contrast
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
monitor their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
activities on watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, it could actually be beneficial for the children's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
in solving problems and thinking
critically
.
Hence
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
in moderation.
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IELTS essay Children are now watching more television than they have ever done before. What are some of the negative effects of children watching a lot of television? Do you think young children should be allowed to watch television?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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