Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

There are more and more old people in many parts of the world. what are the causes of this and what can be done to hanlde this situation.

There are more and more old people in many parts of the world. what are the causes of this and what can be done to hanlde this situation. wBYnn
While, in all around the world the amount of senior citation is increasing day by day. This is global problem to most of the nations. In following paragraph I shall put the reason behind consequences and solution for this. On the good side, old people is rising because of good medical and healthcare facilities. Their are many improvement in medical science, moreover team of scientists and doctors found the useful and valuable medicines and vaccines to protect human beings. To illustrate, before 90's, people dying by cancer and other harmful virus which has no knowledge about it. Due to high population of senior people it is affected to young people. In addition, increasing high unemployment in country and lost young age people by going wrong way such as crime and harassment. For the solution, government should have put retirement age for old people and give a pension or free healthcare. build a old age homes where old people give their time to advices to young and enjoy there life with their age of group. Give a small amount of loan for home business to increase economic and employment in nation. For instance, the Canadian government are giving a good pension and healthcare service to their old age citizen and give a chance to youth to do work and help to grow country. To sum up, development in medical facilities is big achievement for nation but rising the level of old age effect in countries economy and working progress. Government has to take some effective action for control the nation.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, in all around the world the amount of senior citation is increasing day by day. This is global problem to most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. In following paragraph I shall put the reason behind consequences and solution for this.

On the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
rising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
medical and healthcare facilities.
Did you mean "there"?
Their
are
Possible agreement error. The noun improvement seems to be countable; consider using: "many improvements".
many improvement
in medical science,
moreover
team of scientists and doctors found the useful and valuable medicines and vaccines to protect human beings. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "90s".
90's
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dying by cancer and other harmful virus which has no knowledge about it. Due to high population of senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
to young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In addition
, increasing high unemployment in country and lost young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by going
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way such as crime and harassment.

For the solution,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should have put retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
a pension or free healthcare.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
build
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
homes where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
their time to advices to young and enjoy there life with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of group.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Give
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of loan for home business to increase economic and employment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
For instance
, the Canadian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
are giving a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
pension and healthcare service to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
citizen and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
a chance to youth to do work and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to grow country.

To sum up, development in medical facilities is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
achievement for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
rising the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
effect in countries economy and
Did you mean "work in progress"?
working progress
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effective action for control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay There are more and more old people in many parts of the world. what are the causes of this and what can be done to hanlde this situation.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    What is advertising should do to attract people?
    I bought many things which is advertised, but I didn't buy a lot of things which is advertised. So, I can understand both these views. One opinion is that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. I can partly agree this opinion. I experienced that I bought an item, because...
  • 6band
    Airline companies in many countries have reduced the cost of tickets. is it a positive or negative development.
    We are living in technological era and People are surrounded by the machines. In today's world people consuming more electronic device for better lifestyle. Every coin has two sides in that why machines also has their own pros and cons. I shall put my opinion in following paragraphs. Now a days, th...
  • 6band
    Some people think that governments should provide unemployed citizens with free telephones and opportunities for using internet to help them to find a job. What to extent
    In this modern era, the issue of unemployment has been increasing in demographics of society. Some people assert that regime is responsible for providing the free mobile phone and other technological devices to the unemployed. I partially agree with this notion. To commence with, if the rate of emp...
  • 6band
    advertising is important or not.
    I think that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. I have three reasons. First of all, if there are no advertising, we couldn’t know some products which is very useful. I have a lot of things that I know from the advertising. For example, I have never known handy fan, b...
  • 5.5band
    Influence by the advertisement to us
    I agree the opinion that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. I have three reasons. First, I have an experience that I want to buy things for advertising on TV. If I did not watch the TV, I would not want to buy it and would not possible to be interested in it. So, it...
  • 6band
    Advertising affect for the people who buy something.
    I think that I can see a lot of advertising everywhere recently. For example, on TV, there are various thing’s advertisement in commercial. Also, a lot of poster are posted all over the town and a lot of flyer are distributed here and there. First, I think about that advertising is successful at pe...