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there are more activities for international tourists when coming to Vietnam

there are more activities for international tourists when coming to Vietnam jD9PX
Some people think that there are more activities for international tourists when coming to Vietnam. In my opinion, I completely agree with this idea. When coming to famous tourist destinations in Vietnam, guests will have the opportunity to experience extremely fun and interesting entertainment activities. Example a must-see entertainment place when coming to Ho Chi Minh City is Just Kidding amusement park. This is like a miniature tourist paradise with all kinds of indoor and outdoor games suitable for all ages. Some thrilling games that you cannot ignore when coming here are roller coasters, airplanes, F1 racing, ect. . . . Or with a Hanoi, is a destination imbued with the culture and history of the Vietnamese nation. Therefore, when coming here, international tourists will be able to participate in many activities such as dancing, circus shows or folk games in Hanoi pedestrian street In addition, there are many other great attractions with extremely unusual organized activities. In conclusion for the reasons mentioned above, I would tell that there is a wide of activities for international visitors to Vietnam.
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Some
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people
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think
that there are more
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activities
for international
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tourists
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coming
to Vietnam. In my opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coming
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
destinations in Vietnam, guests will have the opportunity to experience
extremely
fun and interesting entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. Example a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
entertainment place when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coming
to Ho Chi Minh City is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
Kidding amusement park. This is like a miniature
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
paradise with all kinds of indoor and outdoor games suitable for all ages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
thrilling games that you cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coming
here are roller coasters, airplanes, F1 racing,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ect
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Or with a Hanoi, is a destination imbued with the culture and history of the Vietnamese nation.
Therefore
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coming
here, international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
will be able to participate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as dancing, circus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
or folk games in Hanoi pedestrian street
In addition
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other great attractions with
extremely
unusual organized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
In conclusion
for the reasons mentioned above, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
that there is a wide of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
for international visitors to Vietnam.
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IELTS essay there are more activities for international tourists when coming to Vietnam

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
179 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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