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The best way to deal with crime is always to imprison the offender.’ To what extent do you agree?

The best way to deal with crime is always to imprison the offender. ’ 70WrX
There are many punishments to prevent the commission of crimes, such as imprisonment, financial penalties, and capital punishment, etc. Some people believe that putting criminals in prison is not always the effective way but there are better alternative ways to deal with crime. However, others argue that the best way to reduce offences is to imprison criminals. On one hand, prisoners could become better persons later by practical ways such as educating offenders, educational and vocational training. For example, many teenagers and children are exploited by some drug dealers to deliver drugs. Those have a lack of knowledge, so if we open the door to teach them and enrich their knowledge that would lead them to know what is legal and what is illegal and help them to avoid making the same mistakes. So, if imprisonment is becoming the way to punish them maybe they will learn more bad things because of being accompanied by different types of murderers and criminals in prison. On the other hand, according to the view that imprisonment is the most effective way which has been a popular and traditional method to fight crimes for many years because it can prevent many crimes. Thus, that means when people know that the punishment for committing crimes would be a long-time sentence in jail, they would be scared to do crimes, which could cost them to spend all their life behind bars which is in fact a so hard penalty. So, imprisonment is a deterrent to committing crimes. Furthermore, murderers should be isolated from society. For example, serious criminals like serial killers, cannot be socialised with people, so that can prevent other crimes to happen. To summarise everything, I partially agree that imprisoning offenders provides several public benefits, but it is not always the best way. Some of the public benefits that result from offenders being imprisoned include the societal safety of people who live in areas where they are exposed to and familiar with crime.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
punishments to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the commission of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imprisonment
, financial penalties, and capital punishment, etc.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that putting criminals in prison is not always the effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are better alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
However
, others argue that the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
is to imprison criminals.

On one hand, prisoners could become better persons later by practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
such as educating offenders, educational and vocational training.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and children
are exploited
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drug dealers to deliver drugs. Those have a lack of knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if we open the door to teach them and enrich their knowledge that would lead them to know what is legal and what is illegal and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to avoid making the same mistakes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imprisonment
is becoming the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to punish them maybe they will learn more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
being accompanied
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of murderers and criminals in prison.

On the other hand
, according to the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imprisonment
is the most effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
which has been a popular and traditional method to fight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
Thus
, that means when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know that the punishment for committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
would be a long-time sentence in jail, they would
be scared
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, which could cost them to spend all their life behind bars which is in fact a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
penalty.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imprisonment
is a deterrent to committing crimes.

Furthermore
, murderers should
be isolated
from society.
For example
, serious criminals like serial killers, cannot be
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialised' is British English.
socialised
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
to happen.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
everything, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that imprisoning offenders provides several public benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not always the best way.

If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
public benefits that result from offenders
being imprisoned
include the societal safety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in areas where they
are exposed
to and familiar with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
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IELTS essay The best way to deal with crime is always to imprison the offender. ’

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
329 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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