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There are many different types of music in the world today. Wht do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

There are many different types of music in the world today. Wht do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays? jRP8X
There is no doubt that music is becoming important part of human life. There are many benefits to listen music. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the topic and support my view with example. There are noticeable positive influence of music. The most prominent benefit is that, it will help us to relax. This view exists because music can raise someone's mood and cheer them. As a result, if a person is having stress, listen to a music can calm his mind and help him relax. In addition, it is also seen that music can improve your focus and imagination power. This merit is buoyed in the fact that, while working in business or office, listening music can increase your focus and imagination. Consequently, people will be more productive in their working time. It is scientifically proven that, listening music enhanced your brain functioning. I wholeheartedly believe that, conventional music is more important that the rock and pop music which heard everywhere nowadays. That is to say, international music is just for entertainment. However, traditional music expresses the culture and history of a country. Furthermore, international music like rock, R&B, hip-hop comes from anywhere in the world. While, traditional music has its identity, comes from particular country. In conclusion, contemporary music has its own value in contrast to international music. I believe music is a vital element of human life because it can make human happy and healthy.
There is no doubt that
music
is becoming
important
part of human life. There are
many
benefits to listen
music
. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the topic and support my view with example.

There are noticeable
positive
influence of
music
. The most prominent benefit is that, it will
help
us to relax. This view exists
because
music
can raise someone's mood and cheer them.
As a result
, if a person is having
stress
, listen to a
music
can calm his mind and
help
him relax.
In addition
, it is
also
seen
that
music
can
improve
your focus and imagination power. This merit
is buoyed
in the fact that, while working in business or office, listening
music
can increase your focus and imagination.
Consequently
,
people
will be more productive in their working time. It is
scientifically
proven that, listening
music
enhanced your brain functioning.

I
wholeheartedly
believe that, conventional
music
is more
important
that the rock and pop
music
which heard everywhere nowadays.
That is
to say, international
music
is
just
for entertainment.
However
, traditional
music
expresses the culture and history of a country.
Furthermore
, international
music
like rock, R&B, hip-hop
comes
from anywhere in the world. While, traditional
music
has its identity,
comes
from particular country.

In conclusion
, contemporary
music
has its
own
value
in contrast
to international
music
. I believe
music
is a vital element of human life
because
it can
make
human happy and healthy.
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IELTS essay There are many different types of music in the world today. Wht do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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