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In some countries, there are fewer young people who listen to or play classical music these days. Why is this? Should young people be encouraged to play or perform classical music?

In some countries, there are fewer young people who listen to or play classical music these days. Why is this? Should young people be encouraged to play or perform classical music? awylw
Classical music is the music which is based on the culture of the country and tradition. It has the ability to make mind relax and gives the inner peace. Though elder people still prefer to listen and play classical music there can be seen decreasing numbers among younger generation. In the past years people preferred to listen and play classical music hence they doesn’t had many choices to enjoy but nowadays there are thousands ways to enjoy and getting mind relax with the technological development. Majority of younger generation prefer clubbing, night outings and video games rather than playing or listen to classical music. Governments can encourage classical music performers to engage with primary and secondary schools to compel younger generation towards to classical music. Though the classical music is based on country’s culture and tradition, most of the countries are encouraging foreign immigration due to population ageing. This has change the feelings and emotions of the people who are in the country especially among the younger generation. As an example Korean hip pop music trend can be seen among the young generation in most of the countries. As a solution parents can create a good image of classical music since the childhood and it may be effect to increase the preference towards the classical music. Fewer percentage of younger people can be seen in some countries who love classical music and many causes can be effected for this deduction. Possible ways to drag the classical music is implementing a good environment since the childhood.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
which
is based
on the culture of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and tradition. It has the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mind relax and gives the inner peace. Though elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
prefer to listen and play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
there can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
decreasing numbers among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generation.

In the past years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
preferred to listen and play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
hence
they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "don’t"
doesn’t
The verb 'doesn't' requires base form of this verb: "have"
had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
choices to enjoy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nowadays there are thousands ways to enjoy and getting mind relax with the technological development. Majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generation prefer clubbing, night outings and video games
rather
than playing or listen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
can encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
performers to engage with primary and secondary schools to compel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generation towards to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
music.

Though the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is based
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
culture and tradition, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are encouraging foreign immigration due to population
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
. This has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the feelings and emotions of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
especially
among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generation.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
an example Korean hip pop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
trend can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
among the young generation in most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. As a solution parents can create a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
image of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
since the childhood and it may be effect to increase the preference towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
music.

Fewer percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
causes can
be effected
for this deduction. Possible ways to drag the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is implementing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
environment since the childhood.
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IELTS essay In some countries, there are fewer young people who listen to or play classical music these days. Why is this? Should young people be encouraged to play or perform classical music?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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