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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays? 2Xrb
Since the world has come a long way, every field has got advanced relative to the olden times. Similarly, especially in music, since technology has taken over the world, dieffernt music instrucments are the root reason of numerous types of music available nowadays. Upcoming paragraphs will explain the causes of demand of music, and what sort of music, traditional or international, is crucial currently with specific detail. To begin with, music need is justifiable as enormous factors are attributing. First and foremost, when enjoyment is irrfutably inseprable part of human life, music hold prime option in resourcing the entertainment. To elaborate, once in a while, as everyone seeks joyful moments and like to step up on dance floor, music play a huge role to create such entertaining ambiances. Thus, people dancing and ejoying without music has never been witnessed so far. Additonally, while people are engaged to swamped lifestyle and urge relaxsation at end of their schedules, music is somewhat everyone like to hear. Owing to this imparative reason, music is always made up on the basis of normal life issues and when a person hear situation related music, it heals their tiredness and refresh their moods. Furthermore, as traditional and international musics are compared, traditional music wins because of its ease to understand in mothertoungue prespectives and its relation to native cultures. To explain, it would be logical to state that however a person is capable in understanding multi languages but one always prefer one\'s first language in case of music. It neither demands any extra mind presurring efforts to completely percieve the music and when it relates to their own culture, it effects quickly in a familiar way. To encapsulate, it can be concluded that music undoublty has become indespensable part of people. Although international music is alluring the people worldwide but traditional music cannot be put on second number since it relates to their native culture, land and language as well.
Since the world has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
a long way, every field has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
advanced relative to the olden times.
Similarly
,
especially
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, since technology has taken over the world,
Possible spelling mistake found.
dieffernt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
Possible spelling mistake found.
instrucments
are the root reason of numerous types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
available nowadays. Upcoming paragraphs will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the causes of demand of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, and what sort of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
or international, is crucial
currently
with specific detail.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
need is justifiable as enormous factors are attributing.
First
and foremost, when enjoyment is
Possible spelling mistake found.
irrfutably
Possible spelling mistake found.
inseprable
part of human life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
hold prime option in resourcing the entertainment. To elaborate, once in a while, as everyone seeks joyful moments and like to step up on dance floor,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
play a huge role to create such entertaining ambiances.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dancing and
Possible spelling mistake found.
ejoying
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has never
been witnessed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Additonally
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are engaged
to swamped lifestyle and urge
Possible spelling mistake found.
relaxsation
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of their schedules,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is somewhat everyone like to hear. Owing to this
Possible spelling mistake found.
imparative
reason,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is always made up on the basis of normal life issues and when a person hear situation related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, it heals their tiredness and refresh their moods.

Furthermore
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
and international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musics
are compared
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
wins
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
to understand in
Possible spelling mistake found.
mothertoungue
Possible spelling mistake found.
prespectives
and its relation to native cultures. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, it would be logical to state that
however
a person is capable in understanding multi languages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one always prefer one\'s
first
language in case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. It neither demands any extra mind
Possible spelling mistake found.
presurring
efforts to completely
Possible spelling mistake found.
percieve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and when it relates to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
culture, it effects
quickly
Consider replacing "in a familiar way" with the adverb for "familiar"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a familiar way
.

To encapsulate, it can
be concluded
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
Possible spelling mistake found.
undoublty
has become
Possible spelling mistake found.
indespensable
part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Although international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is alluring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
worldwide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
cannot
be put
on second number since it relates to their native culture, land and language
as well
.
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IELTS essay There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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