Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

There are many advertisements directed at children, such as snacks, toys, and other goods. Parents argue that children are under pressure. Advertisers claim that advertisements provide useful information. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There are many advertisements directed at children, such as snacks, toys, and other goods. Parents argue that children are under pressure. Advertisers claim that advertisements provide useful information. BWyPj
The advertisements are ubiquitous in these days and most of them are targeted at children who are not educated enough and easier to draw attention. This is a very controversial issue and some people think that these advertisement make children to feel uncomfortable while others believe that they provide certain knowledge. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the view and give my opinion. On the one hand, there are several reasons why commercials are disadvantageous for children. The first reason is that the advertisement that contain sugar and fat might encourage children to buy junk food which lead to obesity in later on. All the evidence has said that there is a negative correlation between children’s obesity rate and the number of time they watch advertisement. Secondly, the majority of TV commercials are not authentic but the children are not educated enough to differentiate between actual tv programmes and commercials. Consequently, advertisements give children an illusion that they have an access to all the materials and pester their parents to buy certain items they see on TV and social media. On the other hand, some people argue that advertisement are knowledgeable for youngsters as they can teach about healthy living and balanced diet. The abundance of commercial means the children will have a chance to learn about the importance of healthy lifestyle in which the company can promote their products in a more positive way. Instead of consumerism, the advertisement should encourage creativity and values such as honesty and integrity. In conclusion, it is certainly true that the advertisements have advantages for children however, in my opinion, the government should impose certain laws and regulations to censor in order to prevent the drawbacks of it.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are ubiquitous in these days and most of them
are targeted
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are not educated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and easier to draw attention. This is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
controversial issue and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to feel uncomfortable while others believe that they provide certain knowledge. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the view and give my opinion.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why commercials are disadvantageous for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The
first
reason is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
that contain sugar and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
might encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
junk food which lead to obesity in later on. All the evidence has said that there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
correlation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
obesity rate and the number of time they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
.
Secondly
, the majority of TV commercials are not authentic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not educated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to differentiate between actual
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
and commercials.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
an illusion that they have
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "access".
an access
to all the materials and pester their parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
certain items they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on TV and social media.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
are knowledgeable for youngsters as they can teach about healthy living and balanced diet. The abundance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
means the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will have a chance to learn about the importance of healthy lifestyle in which the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
can promote their products in a more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way.
Instead
of consumerism, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
should encourage creativity and values such as honesty and integrity.

In conclusion
, it is
certainly
true that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
have advantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
however
, in my opinion, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should impose certain laws and regulations to censor in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the drawbacks of it.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay There are many advertisements directed at children, such as snacks, toys, and other goods. Parents argue that children are under pressure. Advertisers claim that advertisements provide useful information.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • There are many advertisements directed at children, such as snacks, toys, and other goods. Parents argue that children are under pressure. Advertisers claim that advertisements provide useful information. Discuss both views and give your opinion.