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answer the second task of writing

answer the second task of writing pbBBD
Many people fascinate about all details of the home which they live, including the origin of the houses. In this essay, we discuss why people do this and what kind of methods are used to know about it. The story of house is attractive for the owners. Of course, it has some causes doing it. Firstly, some people believe in ghosts and they are scared of seeing ghosts at home. So they try to avoid bad places. Thus, they collect information about home. Second reason is to know about what sort of building materials were used to erect the house by builders. For instance, if they used bad quality materials, they will not live here anymore and sell it immediately. To know about it they use some methods. First method is getting data from neighbours. Old neighbours may know a lot about the house. If you ask them kindly, they will tell you even in details. Another method is searching for information about it on the internet. There are numerous articles about houses on the internet. So you may find data which necessary for you. Other way of doing it is going to archives. There are many documents and newspapers which include information about the home in the archives. The benefit of doing this method is reliable than other ways. In conclusion, some residents are interested in house because they are afraid of ghosts and knowing what kind of building materials used to construct the house. If you want to know about your home, you may request from neighbours, look for on the internet or getting data from the archives.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
fascinate about all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of the home which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, including the origin of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
. In this essay, we discuss why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do this and what kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about it.

The story of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is attractive for the owners.
Of course
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
causes doing it.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
ghosts and
they
are scared
of seeing ghosts at home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they try to avoid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
places.
Thus
, they collect information about home. Second reason is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about what sort of building materials were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to erect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
by builders.
For instance
, if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
quality materials, they will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
here anymore and sell it immediately.

To
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about
Consider adding a comma here.
it
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
.
First
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
is getting data from
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Old
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
a lot about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
. If you ask them kindly, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you even in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
is searching for information about it on the internet. There are numerous articles about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
on the internet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
you may find data which necessary for you. Other way of doing it is going to archives. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
documents and newspapers which include information about the home in the archives. The benefit of doing this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
is
Use "(reliable)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
reliable
than other ways.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
residents
are interested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are afraid of ghosts and knowing what kind of building materials
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to construct the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
. If you want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about your home, you may request from
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
, look for on the internet or getting data from the archives.
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IELTS essay answer the second task of writing

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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