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There are great advantages to getting married when you are older.

There are great advantages to getting married when you are older. RweeY
There are great advantages to getting married when you are older. Firstly, people in their early thirties and forties are making quite sure of their own financial future before committing to a legal relationship. As a result, they are be able to pay for the needs of their mates and their family’s daily life. Secondly, When you are not married, you do not bear any constraints, so your life will be comfortable and free in doing whatever you like. In contrast, when you marry soon You will be responsible for your own family life, the time is mainly spent on taking care of children, sometimes there is no time to do the things you like such as go out and have fun with friends. Lastly, you can find a mate who suits you. If you marry late you will appreciate your marriage more since you have enjoyed enough as a single individual and had the most amazing time. You will not feel like you have missed out anything when you finally decide to get married. For example, with more focus on romantic love, girls want an ideal life partner and are willing to wait for the right person.
There are great advantages to getting married when you are older.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in their early thirties and forties are making quite sure of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
financial future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
committing to a legal relationship.
As a result
, they are
Consider using a past participle here: "been".
be
able to pay for the needs of their mates and their family’s daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Secondly
, When you are not married, you do not bear any constraints,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will be comfortable and free in doing whatever you like.
In contrast
, when you marry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
You will be responsible for your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, the time is
mainly
spent on taking care of children,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
there is no time to do the things you like such as go out and have fun with friends.
Lastly
, you can find a mate who suits you. If you marry late you will appreciate your marriage more since you have enjoyed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
as a single individual and had the most amazing time. You will not feel like you have missed out anything when you
finally
decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married.
For example
, with more focus on romantic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, girls want an ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
partner and are willing to wait for the right person.
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IELTS essay There are great advantages to getting married when you are older.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
198 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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