Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

obese children, start sports early in school.

obese children, start sports early in school. b20KB
Health problems caused due to a growing number of population being overweight is putting a dent on the health care system to deal with it, some people think that the most appropriate way to tackle this issue is to have more sports and exercises in schools. I strongly agree with having more physical training in school is key to solving the issue of deteriorating public health. Firstly, dealing with overweight and obese people is a process and not a test, this process involves training from a young age about eating right, being physically active at least four days a week and also knowing the consequences of eating junk and unhealthy food. If sports were to be taught at a young age, the future generations will be healthier and will be free of such health problems. Another point to consider is that the healthy lifestyle of the children
Health problems caused due to a growing number of population being overweight is putting a dent on the health care system to deal with it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the most appropriate way to tackle this issue is to have more sports and exercises in schools. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with having more physical training in school is key to solving the issue of deteriorating public health.

Firstly
, dealing with overweight and obese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
a process and not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
, this process involves training from a young age about eating right, being
physically
active at least four days a week and
also
knowing the consequences of eating junk and unhealthy food. If sports were to
be taught
at a young age, the future generations will be healthier and will be free of such health problems. Another point to consider is that the healthy lifestyle of the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
children
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay obese children, start sports early in school.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
146 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    Nowadays, many children stand a good chance of staying healthy due to significant advances in technology and healthcare.
    Nowadays, many children stand a good chance of staying healthy due to significant advances in technology and healthcare. However, as living standard increases, children are more likely to ruin their health by having bad daily habits. Both families and schools, in my opinion, bear special obligations...
  • 6band
    In some countries like america and usa jury donot have access to criminals past record but some lawyers say that lawyers should have access to past facts
    Is it right approach to check the all past facts of a criminal? More often than not it is observed by many a man that jury should have access to defendant's past criminal record while other's counter and claim that jury should not be presented with the all history of a criminal. I agree with the for...
  • 5band
    Report on using Smartphone in Greenwich University.
    This report gives information about the tendency of using smartphone, which was conducted in August of this year. Three thousands students between the ages of 18 and 22 of Greenwich University asked for the smartphone habit. The survey found significant differences in the habits of freshman and fin...
  • 5band
    Foods affectiong our purschasing desicions changed why
    The importance of food in our lives is almost similar to the need of oxygen. Oxygen is necessary to produce energy while food is main source of nutrition. Before, price had an influence on food choices, however as the time passed, factors that affect the customer’s purchasing decisions changed. The ...
  • 6band
    Sentencing young people, who did illegal things
    Sentencing young people, who did illegal things, by arresting has been a contraversial idea over the years. Whereas there are a huge refussion to this idea globally and supportion to other ways, such as community service, to learn guilty youths rather than blame them, others resist that they are sti...
  • 5band
    Lamborghini Aventador Car
    Aventador is one of the most beautiful and fastest cars. It is one of my favorites cars because it has a 12 cylinder engine. This engine has a nice sound. It gives us 740 horsepower. Which is very high horsepower. It has a nice door which it open to upside. I hope to own it in the future, but I thin...





Get more results for topic:
  • obese children, start sports early in school.