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There are an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some people say that the best way would be to use death penalty as a deterrant, many people say that other measures will be needed. Discuss both views. v.1

There are an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some people say that the best way would be to use death penalty as a deterrant, many people say that other measures will be needed. v. 1
There is no doubt that in recent years, the crime rate has risen and it overshadows other accolades in a country. While it has been opined by a number of strict residents that notorious criminal minds should be hanged, others argue that apposite steps have to be taken for each crime. This essay will explore both the views and highlight pertinent examples as well. One concern with the former argument is that people, who commit violence, such as raping or stabbing someone to death, should not be spared by any sympathy. This is because that if one mastermind gets relieved from the law, the whole crime world would be relaxed and encouraged to conduct more. For instance, the severity and the rate of crime are at a moderate level in many Western countries like the United States or United Kingdom because of the rigid mindset to show no mercy on rapists, killers, and so forth. On the other hand, as crimes do not have any one size fit solution, one and only decision of death might misjudge and miscalculate the nature of the offence. That is to say, it is vital to consider how crime occurs and why the offender is stimulated; many critical behaviours can be realised behind every crime, thus utilising to stop aspiring incidents. For example, the behaviour science department of the FBI has supported to lessen the crime rate by 5% in the United States for their study on serial killers since 2011. Furthermore, a few individuals should be treated in mental hospitals or specialised institutes as a mean of fair judgement. In conclusion, death penalty often seems to be the ultimate answer to communities for the sake of humanity, whereas murderers, serial killers, and so on should not only be treated in an unbiased way, but also be studied further to put a definite end of the crime era.
There is no doubt that in recent years, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate has risen and it overshadows other accolades in a country. While it has
been opined
by a number of strict residents that notorious criminal minds should
be hanged
, others argue that apposite steps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be taken
for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. This essay will explore both the views and highlight pertinent examples
as well
.

One concern with the former argument is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, who commit violence, such as raping or stabbing someone to death, should not
be spared
by any sympathy. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that if one mastermind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
relieved from the law, the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
world would
be relaxed
and encouraged to conduct more.
For instance
, the severity and the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
are at a moderate level in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Western countries like the United States or United Kingdom
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the rigid mindset to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
no mercy on rapists, killers, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth.

On the other hand
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
do not have any one size fit solution, one and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
decision of death might misjudge and miscalculate the nature of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
.
That is
to say, it is vital to consider how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
occurs and why the offender
is stimulated
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
critical
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'realised' is British English.
realised
behind every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
,
thus
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilising' is British English.
utilising
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
aspiring incidents.
For example
, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
science department of the FBI has supported to lessen the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate by 5% in the United States for their study on serial killers since 2011.
Furthermore
, a few individuals should
be treated
in mental hospitals or
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialised' is British English.
specialised
institutes as a mean of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
judgement.

In conclusion
, death penalty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
seems to be the ultimate answer to communities for the sake of humanity, whereas murderers, serial killers, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be treated
Consider replacing "in an unbiased way" with the adverb for "unbiased"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an unbiased way
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
be studied
further
to put a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
era.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay There are an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some people say that the best way would be to use death penalty as a deterrant, many people say that other measures will be needed. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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