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There are an increasing number of advertisements that target children. What are the effects of these advertisements on children? Should TV advertisements be controlled?

There are an increasing number of advertisements that target children. What are the effects of these advertisements on children? Should TV advertisements be controlled? r8DXk
Many advertisers, seeing the massive market that children's needs can create, aim at children. However, many advertisements use attractive items to influence the tender minds of children. This adversely affects their mindset not only by increasing unnecessary desires, but also by diverting their attention from education and sports. Advertisements on television and various social media flash new products that aim at making children commercial consumers. Consequently, many children demand new and costly branded dresses, jewellery, and smart-phones. This often leads to unnecessary demands and diverts their attention from productive activities such as sports. In several cases, children tend to focus more on the advertised products rather than education. This compromises their career and prospects of a future success. For instance, a recent study by the Ministry of Culture and the Human Resource Department of India revealed that the cognitive ability of children these days have fallen by 20 percent as compared to the previous generation due to increase in consumerism. Advertisements aimed at targeting children must be regulated since children cannot make informed and objective decisions. The Censor Board of India, for example, studies all television media, including advertisements, to judge their suitability for various audiences. It also studies advertisements to suit the requirements of children. Such regulation protects the rights of children from the onslaught of consumerism. Therefore, boundaries should be set to regulate advertising, including what kind of slogans or graphics are acceptable, as well as what length or times of airing is inappropriate, if an advert is targeted at children. In conclusion, protecting children from commercial advertisements that create unnecessary demands not only helps children become more successful in the future, but also prevents unnecessary expenses which makes them economically stable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
advertisers, seeing the massive market that children's needs can create, aim at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
attractive items to influence the tender minds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This
adversely
affects their mindset not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unnecessary
desires,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
by diverting their attention from education and sports.

Advertisements on television and various social media flash new products that aim at making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
commercial consumers.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
demand new and costly branded dresses,
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
, and smart-phones. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unnecessary
demands and diverts their attention from productive activities such as sports. In several cases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
tend to focus more on the advertised products
rather
than education. This compromises their career and prospects of a future success.
For instance
, a recent study by the Ministry of Culture and the Human Resource Department of India revealed that the cognitive ability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
these days have fallen by 20 percent as compared to the previous generation due to increase in consumerism.

Advertisements aimed at targeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be regulated
since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
informed and objective decisions. The Censor Board of India,
for example
, studies all television media, including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
, to judge their suitability for various audiences. It
also
studies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
to suit the requirements of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Such regulation protects the rights of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from the onslaught of consumerism.
Therefore
, boundaries should
be set
to regulate advertising, including what kind of slogans or graphics are acceptable,
as well
as what length or times of airing is inappropriate, if an advert
is targeted
at children.

In conclusion
, protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
that create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unnecessary
demands not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become more successful in the future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unnecessary
expenses which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
economically
stable.
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IELTS essay There are an increasing number of advertisements that target children. What are the effects of these advertisements on children? Should TV advertisements be controlled?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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