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Do you agree or disagree to remain happy and optimistic in the failure than to achieve success

to remain happy and optimistic in the failure than to achieve success VBn66
In this chaotic world, most of the things will go on in its way. Nobody has the control over the present happening, except the almighty. When the life goes in the unexpected path, we will encounter success and failures. These success and failures depends on individual expectations, also their state of mind. In percepting the present aspect the people are categorised in two different ways namely optimist and pessimist. Firstly, failures are compulsory part of the life through which every individual must experience. For example, one boy admired and loved a girl who is arrogant, bossy and also unurbane but he was not successful in proposing her for his love. He failed in his relationship. He thought that yes if she would have accepted his proposal though he will be happy now but when we see this on long term he may encounter many problems in civil sense and so on. So by the end he was happy for what has happened by being optimistic. Furthermore, failure may impart the bitterness to your soul right now In present situation but meticulously if we self introspect, failure will complemt us with care and beautiful future. I may quote my present situation as an example which perfectly suits to this situation. As I have prepared to study abroad took exams to meet the criteria of the universities but I was awarded with less marks in one of the examination. So I planned to retake that particular exam to get qualify for the University requirements. Meanwhile I encountered the sudden upheaval of the novel coronavirus pandemic all round the globe. Most of the countries banned international plane by enforsing lockdown in their respective countries. Here I should be happy so that I am out of danger then optimistically I should prepare for next intake. Failure teaches us lesson, alert the mind and mostly it point out what rank do we secure in this society meanwhile helpful in self introspect ourselves. Whereas, success will in arrogancy, develops illusory mindset and also provoke mind to dream more than to be in present. Although, failure may leads to detrimental hope also chaotic mind and success will congregate energy and happyness it is also an important aspect in life. Therefore I personally agree to remain happy and optimistic in failure situation than to achieve success by keenly outlining the pros and cons in the above examples
In this chaotic world, most of the things will go on in its way. Nobody has the control over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
happening, except the almighty. When the life goes in the unexpected path, we will encounter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
failures
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
failures
depends on individual expectations,
also
their state of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
percepting
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
aspect the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
Possible spelling mistake. 'categorised' is British English.
categorised
in two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways
namely
optimist and pessimist.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
failures
are compulsory part of the life through which every individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
experience.
For example
, one boy admired and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
a girl who is arrogant, bossy and
also
unurbane
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he was not successful in proposing her for his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
. He failed in his relationship. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that yes if she would have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
his proposal though he will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
this on long term he may encounter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems in civil sense and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
he was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
for what has happened by being optimistic.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
failure
may impart the bitterness to your soul right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
meticulously
if
Possible mistake. Please verify.
we self
introspect,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
failure
will
Possible spelling mistake found.
complemt
us with care and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
future. I may quote my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
as an example which
perfectly
suits to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
. As I have prepared to study abroad took exams to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the criteria of the universities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
was awarded
with
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun marks is countable.
less
marks in one of the examination.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I planned to retake that particular exam to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
qualify for the University requirements.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Meanwhile
I encountered the sudden upheaval of the novel coronavirus pandemic all round the globe. Most of the countries banned international
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
enforsing
lockdown in their respective countries. Here I should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I am out of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
then
optimistically
I should prepare for
next
intake.

Failure teaches us lesson, alert the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
and
mostly
it
Did you mean "points"?
point
out what rank do we secure in this society meanwhile helpful in self introspect ourselves. Whereas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
will in
Possible spelling mistake found.
arrogancy
, develops illusory mindset and
also
provoke
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
to dream more than to be in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
. Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
failure
may leads to detrimental hope
also
chaotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
will congregate energy and
Possible spelling mistake found.
happyness
it is
also
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect in life.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to remain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
and optimistic in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
failure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
than to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
by
keenly
outlining the pros and cons in the above examples
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IELTS essay to remain happy and optimistic in the failure than to achieve success

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
398 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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