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There are a number of disadvantages of the Internet.

There are a number of disadvantages of the Internet. 96mdW
First, people can get unreliable information from the Internet. Today, there are many advertisements about language courses on Facebook, Youtube… For example, people can get a high score in IELTS in one or two months. Private organizations hire content writers who post it to attract more viewers and increase their profits. Many people who are spending money on low-quality products can lead to financial loss. Second, people may spend too much time on the Internet. The young often spend much time on the Internet such as playing online games, surfing the news about dramas. Consequently, people can lower their productivity, delay their work or have eye-related diseases.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
unreliable information from the Internet.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advertisements about language courses on Facebook,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youtube
…
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a high score in IELTS in one or two months. Private organizations hire content writers who post it to attract more viewers and increase their profits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are spending money on low-quality products can lead to financial loss. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may spend too much time on the Internet. The young
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
spend much time on the Internet such as playing online games, surfing the news about dramas.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can lower their productivity, delay their work or have eye-related diseases.

IELTS essay There are a number of disadvantages of the Internet.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
107 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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