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There are a higher proportion of older people than younger people. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

It is irreversible that the ageing population has become a common occurrence in many countries. It is hard to deny that the increasing elderly people will result in the high financial burden and pressure of the healthcare system, as the elderly people are more likely to get sick. However, such a statement faces both a factual and logical fallacies. As far as the culture, community, and economy are concerned, I strongly held that the positive side overtakes the gloomy side, if the government could maintain in the balanced ratio for the proportion of the aging population. On the positive that, first and foremost, elderly citizens could impart knowledge, experience and history they witnessed to the younger generation by counselling them, which is significant to the culture. A case in point is that teachers, researchers, doctors, and lawyers requires long-term study and professional experience, the age will not be problem, instead, senior people could contribute enormously to such fields. Therefore, aging population has its role in the workforce market. Furthermore, the fact that elderly citizens share voluntary service indicates that elderly people contributes tremendously to the community. To be more specific, the older people not only provide the childcare, financial, practical and emotional assistance to the busy family members, but they are also responsible for the task of the whole community, such as layoff registration, and mediation among the neighbors. Had it not been for their selfless dedication, the government would never be able to minimize the expenditure on the welfare and social aid. Nevertheless, a voice arises that demerits of the ageing population results in a disastrously economic burden, as the taxpayers need to pay more to meet the fiscal gap caused by the state pension of the elderly generation. Ironically, the elderly citizens are by far healthier than their preceding generations due to the advancement of living standards and technology. Moreover, take the case of China, which prolongs the retirement age with 60 for men and 55 for women so as to reduce the financial burden of pension. In other cases such as German and Italy, the governments also adopts appealing policies to attract the immigrants so as to collect a fund for the gap of the pension as well as the cope with shortage of labor force. As a result, it is trivial to consider the financial burden of the elderly people nowadays. In a nutshell, the merits of the growth of elderly people overweigh the demerits, as the contributions of the elderly people are enormous from the community side, whole society side, and the professional side. I maintain that government shall impose a balanced ageing ratio to give all ages people a better play, as nowadays people are expected to have longevity.
It is irreversible that the
ageing
population has become a common occurrence in
many
countries. It is
hard
to deny that the increasing
elderly
people
will result in the high
financial
burden
and pressure of the healthcare system, as the
elderly
people
are more likely to
get
sick.
However
, such a statement faces both a factual and logical fallacies. As far as the culture,
community
, and economy
are concerned
, I
strongly
held that the
positive
side overtakes the gloomy side, if the
government
could maintain in the balanced ratio for the proportion of the aging population.

On the
positive
that,
first
and foremost,
elderly
citizens could impart knowledge, experience and history they witnessed to the younger generation by counselling them, which is significant to the culture. A case in point is that teachers, researchers, doctors, and lawyers requires long-term study and professional experience, the age will not be problem,
instead
, senior
people
could contribute
enormously
to such fields.
Therefore
, aging population has its role in the workforce market.

Furthermore
, the fact that
elderly
citizens share voluntary service indicates that
elderly
people
contributes
tremendously
to the
community
. To be more specific, the older
people
not
only
provide the childcare,
financial
, practical and emotional assistance to the busy family members,
but
they are
also
responsible for the task of the whole
community
, such as layoff registration, and mediation among the neighbors. Had it not been for their selfless dedication, the
government
would never be able to minimize the expenditure on the welfare and social aid.

Nevertheless
, a voice arises that demerits of the
ageing
population results in a
disastrously
economic
burden
, as the taxpayers need to pay more to
meet
the fiscal gap caused by the state pension of the
elderly
generation.
Ironically
, the
elderly
citizens are by far healthier than their preceding generations due to the advancement of living standards and technology.
Moreover
, take the case of China, which prolongs the retirement age with 60 for
men
and 55 for women
so as to
reduce
the
financial
burden
of pension. In other cases such as German and Italy, the
governments
also
adopts appealing policies to attract the immigrants
so as to
collect a fund for the gap of the pension
as well
as the cope with shortage of labor force.
As a result
, it is trivial to consider the
financial
burden
of the
elderly
people
nowadays.

In a nutshell, the merits of the growth of
elderly
people
overweigh
the demerits, as the contributions of the
elderly
people
are enormous from the
community
side, whole society side, and the professional side. I maintain that
government
shall impose a balanced
ageing
ratio to give all ages
people
a better play, as nowadays
people
are
expected
to have longevity.
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IELTS essay There are a higher proportion of older people than younger people. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
455 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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