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“The young generation of teenagers is less well behaved than the previous generations of teenagers.” Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

“The young generation of teenagers is less well behaved than the previous generations of teenagers. ” bY28q
Nowadays, life has changed dramatically due to technological developments and globalizations, which has impacted greatly on how people live, interact and communicate. Therefore, it is true that many people, especially older people believe that the behaviours of the young generations of youngsters these days are worse than the preceding generations of teenagers. While I agree that some teenagers are extremely well-behaved, I believe that the behaviour of the young generations of youngsters nowadays are worsen than the preceding generations and the reasons will be covered in this essay. On the one hand, a number of youngsters are strongly aware of their responsibilities in their family and the society. They are more intelligent, more responsible and more well-mannered. These offsprings have made a great contribution to the countries such as inventing new technology to assist humans in working, volunteering financial support for the poor and protecting the environment. Not only maintaining the culture and good values of the previous generations, youngsters nowadays are devoting their life to serve their country. On the other hand, however, most of the teenagers have a tendency to be less well-behaved than the preceding generations. One commonly cited reason is the impact of the Internet on teenagers. The young generations have a great opportunity to connect with the Internet, which have a large number of detrimental information, videos and games. Many youngsters are addicted to these things and become isolated from the world outside. Consequently, they turn into anti-social individuals and commit serious crimes. Another reason for the bad behaviours of youngsters is the lack of care from parents. In modern life, working parents are always busy with professional duties, which leaves them alone little time left for child-caring responsibilities. Therefore, youngsters can hardly distinguish between socially acceptable and accusable behaviours, which make them easily make mistakes such as acting less polite and respectful to others or they can be poisoned by harmful lifestyles such as violence or impoliteness. In conclusion, although there are still a large number of teenagers that are well-behaved, it is clear that the young generation of teenagers nowadays is worse than the previous generation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nowadays
, life has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
dramatically
due to technological developments and
Possible spelling mistake found.
globalizations
, which has impacted
greatly
on how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, interact and communicate.
Therefore
, it is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generations of youngsters these days are worse than the preceding generations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are
extremely
well-behaved, I believe that the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generations of youngsters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nowadays
are
Consider using a past participle here: "worsened".
worsen
than the preceding generations and the reasons will
be covered
in this essay.

On the one hand, a number of youngsters are
strongly
aware of their responsibilities in their family and the society. They are more intelligent, more responsible and more well-mannered. These
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings have
made a great contribution to the countries such as inventing new technology to assist humans in working, volunteering financial support for the poor and protecting the environment. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
maintaining the culture and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
values of the previous generations, youngsters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nowadays
are devoting their life to serve their country.

On the other hand
,
however
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
have a tendency to be less well-behaved than the preceding generations. One
commonly
cited reason is the impact of the Internet on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generations have a great opportunity to connect with the Internet, which have
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
detrimental information, videos and games.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
youngsters
are addicted
to these things and become isolated from the world outside.
Consequently
, they turn into anti-social individuals and commit serious crimes.

Another reason for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
of youngsters is the lack of care from parents. In modern life, working parents are always busy with professional duties, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
them alone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
for child-caring responsibilities.
Therefore
, youngsters can hardly distinguish between
socially
acceptable and
Possible spelling mistake found.
accusable
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mistakes such as acting less polite and respectful to
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
others or
they can
be poisoned
by harmful lifestyles such as violence or impoliteness.

In conclusion
, although there are
still
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
that are well-behaved, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nowadays
is worse than the previous generation.
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IELTS essay “The young generation of teenagers is less well behaved than the previous generations of teenagers. ”

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
353 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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