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Now the day's crime rate in our society is increasing at a very rapid pace give causes and solutions.

Now the day's crime rate in our society is increasing at a very rapid pace give causes and solutions. n61gK
Recent researches have shown a marked increase in criminal offenses around the world. This essay will explore how negative influence of media and poverty are leading causes of this concern and how through censorship of popular media and effective government policies this problem can be curtailed. Multiple factors that act as a breeding ground for illegal activities. Firstly, the violence shown on popular media is the root cause of this menace. As the bloodshed shown on mainstream media encourages younger minds to commit offenses. This fact can be better explained with an example of a crime survey report, which revealed that the introduction of television in the 1950s resulted in a significant increase in violent crimes. Thus, media does have a negative impact on younger people forcing them to go for antisocial activities. Secondly, poverty can also be deemed as the root cause of this problem. As the financially challenged individuals find themselves inclined towards violent activities. Taken an example of Brazil, where criminal activities significantly increased after the economic recession of 2015. Where the poverty level plunged considerably. Hence, financial crises often trigger violent crimes However, there are certain with such dire and widespread causes are there any remedies for this mega problem? I believe so, the most effective solution would be the restriction of violent programs on media if violent programs are banned it would significantly reduce crimes. Moreover, the government should develop strategies to combat poverty and unemployment which would for sure tackle these illegal offenses. Therefore, through government support, this problem can be cured to a large extent. To sum up, even though the causes of this problem are widespread especially in terms of poverty but through government initiative, in terms of banning violent programs, we can combat this concern.
Recent researches have shown a marked increase in criminal offenses around the world. This essay will explore how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
are leading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
of this concern and how through censorship of popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
policies this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can
be curtailed
.

Multiple factors that act as a breeding ground for illegal activities.
Firstly
, the violence shown on popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is the root
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of this menace.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
the bloodshed shown on mainstream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
encourages younger
The verb 'minds' is used with the gerund form: "minds committing".
minds to commit
offenses. This fact can be better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
with an example of a crime survey report, which revealed that the introduction of television in the 1950s resulted in a significant increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
crimes.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
does have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on younger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
forcing them to go for antisocial activities.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
can
also
be deemed
as the root
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
the
financially
challenged individuals find themselves inclined towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
activities. Taken an example of Brazil, where criminal activities
significantly
increased after the economic recession of 2015.
“Where” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Where
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
level plunged
considerably
.
Hence
, financial crises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
trigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
crimes

However
, there are certain with such dire and widespread
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
are there any remedies for this mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
? I believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the most effective solution would be the restriction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
programs on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
programs
are banned
it would
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
crimes.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should develop strategies to combat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and unemployment which would for sure tackle these illegal offenses.
Therefore
, through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
support, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can
be cured
to a large extent.

To sum up,
even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
are widespread
especially
in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
initiative, in terms of banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
programs, we can combat this concern.
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IELTS essay Now the day's crime rate in our society is increasing at a very rapid pace give causes and solutions.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
294 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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