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The worldwide population of children aged 15 and younger is rising. What are the current and future advantages and disadvantages for countries with this kind of growth?

The global number of youngsters and middle-aged adults are increasing and it had brought some concerns for today and future lives. However, some people believe that the benefits they have for countries outweigh the shortcomings. In this essay I will discuss both features. On the one hand, this generation is so smart and energetic. They have been grown-up with cutting-edge devices. Having checked where there were the latest piece of equipment, these guys knew how to operate them even without afraid of facing dangers. This will guarantee higher chances of employment which boosts up the economic development. If leaders are to enjoy a vast improvement in their workplace, young work forces would be a great option for them. One issue that might deteriorate the current situation is excessive reliance on technology that made us less sociable. For example, we usually see families who go to restaurants to enjoy a family meal but instead, all the eyes are glued to the phone screens. In this case, we would suffer from introversion unless some taking some steps to deal with this issue. On the other hand, human being’s life time will be being increased in the near future due to the recent attempts being done at every sectors of health-related cares. Optimistically, nobody will struggle with cancers for a long-term. Top sorts of treatments would be fulfilled based on high-tech VR (Virtual Reality) advancement. Nevertheless, unfortunately, robots will replace individuals. Although they are masterminded by human intervention, we would be overwhelmed (dominated) through machines. Automation will not only endanger pupils, but also we will prone to lack of job vacancies. To conclude, despite of all tragedies that young population make alerts for today and next days, we tend to take positive aspects into granted and appreciate their efforts.
The global number of youngsters and middle-aged adults are
increasing and
it had brought
some
concerns for
today
and future
lives
.
However
,
some
people
believe that the benefits they have for countries outweigh the shortcomings. In this essay I will discuss both features.

On the one hand, this generation is
so
smart and energetic. They have
been grown
-up with cutting-edge devices. Having
checked
where there were the latest piece of equipment, these guys knew how to operate them even without afraid of facing
dangers
. This will guarantee higher chances of employment which boosts up the economic development. If leaders are to enjoy a vast improvement in their workplace, young work forces would be a great option for them. One issue that might deteriorate the
current
situation is excessive reliance on technology that made us less sociable.
For example
, we
usually
see
families who go to restaurants to enjoy a family meal
but
instead
, all the eyes
are glued
to the phone screens.
In this case
, we would suffer from introversion unless
some
taking
some
steps to deal with this issue.

On the other hand
, human being’s
life time
will be
being increased
in the near future due to the recent attempts
being done
at every
sectors
of health-related cares.
Optimistically
, nobody will struggle with cancers for
a long-term
. Top sorts of treatments would
be fulfilled
based on high-tech VR (Virtual Reality) advancement.
Nevertheless
, unfortunately, robots will replace individuals. Although they
are masterminded
by human intervention, we would
be overwhelmed
(dominated) through machines. Automation will not
only
endanger pupils,
but
also
we
will prone
to lack of job vacancies.

To conclude
,
despite of
all tragedies that young population
make
alerts for
today
and
next
days, we tend to take
positive
aspects into granted and appreciate their efforts.
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IELTS essay The worldwide population of children aged 15 and younger is rising. What are the current and future advantages and disadvantages for countries with this kind of growth?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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