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The world of work is forever changing at a fast pace. Working conditions today are not the same as before and people no longer rely on taking one job for life. Discuss the possible causes for these changes and give your suggestions for how people should prepare themselves for work in the future. v.1

The world of work is forever changing at a fast pace. Working conditions today are not the same as before and people no longer rely on taking one job for life. Discuss the possible causes for these changes and give your suggestions for how people should prepare themselves for work in the future. v. 1
The proliferation of telecommunication technology - using the Internet, telephone, fax, scanners or text messaging - has opened up a new range of possibilities for working at a fast pace. As a result, it is an obligation for people to prepare themselves for work in this particular condition, including proficient in using technology. Tremendous advances in modern telecommunication technology allow people to work in long distance. Internet access makes it possible for one to perform various tasks without leaving their offices or working at home. Due to the internet access people now are possible to accomplish their main job while doing their side job. For instance, we can arrange a meeting business with partners or interviewing clients in different place by using video call, such as Skype or WhatsApp. Another omnipresent example is online market that allows people selling their product using the internet or online application as they do not need to work in a particular place such as market or shop. Thus, the expansion of telecommunications technology is one of the possible reasons that changing the way people work, constituting no longer rely on taking one job and working at a tight pace. On the other hand, citizens should aware and prepare themselves to encounter this challenging situation in order to adapt, namely mastered those wireless communication technologies/devices. Moreover, having aptitude and skill to use those technologies will very beneficial to do multitasking. As a result, working at a fast pace with more than one job would not be an issue. To put in a nutshell, I pen down, saying that working conditions are different today due to the enlargement of communication technology. Therefore, it is clear that technology creates the differences and also challenges. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that people need to update their technological knowledge and skill to deal with that situation
The proliferation of telecommunication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
using the Internet, telephone, fax, scanners or text messaging
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
has opened up a new range of possibilities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace.
As a result
, it is an obligation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to prepare themselves for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in this particular condition, including proficient in using technology.

Tremendous advances in modern telecommunication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in long distance. Internet access
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it possible for one to perform various tasks without leaving their offices or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home. Due to the internet access
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
are possible to accomplish their main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
while doing their side
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
For instance
, we can arrange a meeting business with partners or interviewing clients in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
place by using video call, such as Skype or WhatsApp. Another omnipresent example is online market that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
selling their product using the internet or online application as they do not need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a particular place such as market or shop.
Thus
, the expansion of telecommunications
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is one of the possible reasons that changing the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, constituting no longer rely on taking one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at a tight pace.

On the other hand
, citizens
The word 'aware' is a noun or an adjective. A verb is missing or misspelled, or maybe a comma is missing.
should aware
and prepare themselves to encounter this challenging situation in order to adapt,
namely
mastered those wireless communication technologies/devices.
Moreover
, having aptitude and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial to do multitasking.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace with more than one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
would not be an issue.

To put in a nutshell, I pen down, saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
conditions are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
due to the enlargement of communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
creates the differences and
also
challenges. After thorough analysis on this subject, it
is predicted
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to update their technological knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
to deal with that
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
situation
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay The world of work is forever changing at a fast pace. Working conditions today are not the same as before and people no longer rely on taking one job for life. Discuss the possible causes for these changes and give your suggestions for how people should prepare themselves for work in the future. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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