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The woman expresses her opinion about the new bus passes for students. State her opinion and why she feels this way. v.1

The woman expresses her opinion about the new bus passes for students. State her opinion and why she feels this way. v. 1
Over the years, the advancements and innovations in the modern society had surpassed our wildest expectations, but many people argue that the problems it causes outweigh its advantages. To begin with, technology has a lot of benefits in human's lives. Firstly, it made communication much easier and more convenient compared to that of the past. Nowadays, individuals can talk with each other and be updated on their daily life routine via mobile phones which makes the distance between them seem non-existent. Secondly, new inventions could positively affect productivity. For example, a factory previously would need thousands of workers to produce a product, but in recent years, because of the generation of machineries, production of goods had increased massively with less personnel needed resulting in more profit or income. On the other hand, modern innovations have its own drawbacks. In fact, the sudden rise of the number of people suffering from obesity and other chronic illnesses can be attributed to the usage of technologies. To cite an example, watching television has become the most favourite hobby of younger people and as a result, they tend to live a sedentary lifestyle and rarely participate in physical activities such as sports. Moreover, those people who spend their free or leisure time in front of the TV will have a negative impact on their social life wherein they will not have the opportunity to interact with other people. In conclusion, although these modern technologies can have disadvantages which can contribute to the youth to acquire life-threatening disease and will isolate them from their peers, it cannot be denied that they are heavily beneficial in improving people's personal and professional life.
Over the years, the advancements and innovations in the modern society had surpassed our wildest expectations,
but
many
people
argue that the problems it causes outweigh its advantages.

To
begin
with, technology has
a lot of
benefits in human's
lives
.
Firstly
, it made communication much easier and more convenient compared to that of the past. Nowadays, individuals can talk with each
other
and
be updated
on their daily life routine via mobile phones which
makes
the distance between them seem non-existent.
Secondly
, new inventions could
positively
affect productivity.
For example
, a factory previously would need thousands of workers to produce a product,
but
in recent years,
because
of the generation of
machineries
, production of
goods
had increased
massively
with
less
personnel needed resulting in more profit or income.

On the
other
hand, modern innovations have its
own
drawbacks. In fact, the sudden rise of the number of
people
suffering from obesity and
other
chronic illnesses can
be attributed
to the usage of technologies. To cite an example, watching television has become the most
favourite
hobby of younger
people
and
as a result
, they tend to
live
a sedentary lifestyle and rarely participate in physical activities such as sports.
Moreover
, those
people
who spend their free or leisure time in front of the TV will have a
negative
impact on their social life wherein they will not have the opportunity to interact with
other
people
.

In conclusion
, although these modern technologies can have disadvantages which can contribute to the youth to acquire life-threatening disease and will isolate them from their peers, it cannot
be denied
that they are
heavily
beneficial in improving
people
's personal and professional life.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The woman expresses her opinion about the new bus passes for students. State her opinion and why she feels this way. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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