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The widespread problem of Child Labour

The widespread problem of Child Labour yDnmP
Child Labour is quite relevant in India due to poor schooling opportunities and the country’s high poverty rate. Child Labour is relevant in both rural as well as urban regions of the country. As per the 2011 census report, the total population of the age group between 5-14 years is 259. 6 million in India. Almost 3. 9 percent of the total child population that is 10. 1 million children in the country work either as the primary worker or as a marginal worker. Reports state that almost 40 percent of child Labour occurs in the field of precious stone cutting. Child Labour exists in industries such as zari and embroidery, mining, dhabas, restaurants, tea stalls, and even at homes as domestic Labour. The civil authorities and organizations need to work in unison to free child Labour under extreme conditions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Child
Possible spelling mistake. 'Labour' is British English.
Labour
is quite relevant in India due to poor schooling opportunities and the country’s high poverty rate.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Child
Possible spelling mistake. 'Labour' is British English.
Labour
is relevant in both rural
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
urban regions of the country.

As per the 2011 census report, the total population of the age group between 5-14 years is 259. 6 million in India. Almost 3. 9 percent of the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
population
that is
10. 1 million children in the country work either as the primary worker or as a marginal worker.

Reports state that almost 40 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
Possible spelling mistake. 'Labour' is British English.
Labour
occurs in the field of precious stone cutting.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Child
Possible spelling mistake. 'Labour' is British English.
Labour
exists in industries such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
zari
and embroidery, mining,
Possible spelling mistake found.
dhabas
, restaurants, tea stalls, and even at homes as domestic
Possible spelling mistake. 'Labour' is British English.
Labour
.

The civil authorities and organizations need to work in unison to free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
Possible spelling mistake. 'Labour' is British English.
Labour
under extreme conditions.
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IELTS essay The widespread problem of Child Labour

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
140 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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