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In recent decades, the number of adolescents and youth are not necessarily happier, while their standard of living has increased more and more. This situation is caused by the community and should be addressed by some definite measures.

In recent decades, the number of adolescents and youth are not necessarily happier, while their standard of living has increased more and more. This situation is caused by the community and should be addressed by some definite measures. qRrNp
In recent decades, the number of adolescents and youth are not necessarily happier, while their standard of living has increased more and more. This situation is caused by the community and should be addressed by some definite measures. Nowadays, It is the fact that technology and science development may enable the young have been swayed by advertisements. For instance, some toy manufacturing companies, such as DAHCON which is one of the biggest businesses in Vietnam, aim mainly at a target audience of children and juveniles and attack them. As a consequence, a large number of the young buy goods impulsively. However, all of these purchases have failed to satisfy the needs of young people. In addition, this advancement is a contributor to the enhancement of life in the youth, that is resulted in they spent the most time in the day for working and studying more than for themselves. Therefore, they feel more stressed and are unsatisfied with life. To deal with these problems, the government and inhabitants could adopt a number of solutions to innovate children’s emotions. The primary solution is that national authorities should promulgate laws prohibiting false advertising, and severely punish those who violate them. For example, some brands and companies have been closed down in Japan due to not fulfilling the promise. Furthermore, young people ought to invest reasonable time between working and relaxing in order to have more time for themselves by doing whatever they want. As a result, stress could be reduced and they could feel happier through these activities. To sum up, strong remedies should be employed to alleviate adverse impacts on children's emotions. It is predicted that unless these solutions are adopted, the problems associated with the young’s feelings will continue to persist in the future.
In recent decades, the number of adolescents and youth are not
necessarily
happier, while their standard of living has increased more and more. This situation
is caused
by the community and should
be addressed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
measures.

Nowadays, It is the fact that technology and science development may enable the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
have
been swayed
by advertisements.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
toy manufacturing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
DAHCON
which is one of the biggest businesses in Vietnam, aim
mainly
at a target audience of children and juveniles and attack them. As a consequence,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
impulsively
.
However
, all of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
have failed to satisfy the needs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
In addition
, this advancement is a contributor to the enhancement of life in the youth, that
is resulted
in they spent the most time in the day for working and studying more than for themselves.
Therefore
, they feel more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and
are unsatisfied
with life.

To deal with these problems, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and inhabitants could adopt a number of solutions to innovate children’s emotions. The primary solution is that national authorities should promulgate laws prohibiting false advertising, and
severely
punish those who violate them.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
brands and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have
been closed
down in Japan due to not fulfilling the promise.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
ought to invest reasonable time between working and relaxing in order to have more time for themselves by doing whatever they want.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
could be
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
reduced and
they could feel happier through these activities.

To sum up, strong remedies should
be employed
to alleviate adverse impacts on children's emotions. It
is predicted
that unless these solutions
are adopted
, the problems associated with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young’s
feelings will continue to persist in the future.
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IELTS essay In recent decades, the number of adolescents and youth are not necessarily happier, while their standard of living has increased more and more. This situation is caused by the community and should be addressed by some definite measures.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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