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The use of social media such Facebook, Twitter are replacing face to face contact with people in every day. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

The use of social media such Facebook, Twitter are replacing face to face contact with people in every day. What are the advantages and disadvantages? ljwXK
The consumption of social networks is altering the in-person interaction between people in daily life. There are some benefits in the connection between a person and around the world and making friends or finding a partner throughout the border. But some foibles are coexistent with those advantages when many people are spending too much time to use social media and lead to the spread of virtual-living ill. The encouragement of social networks in connecting people on all continents is undeniable. Developing along with technology, social media is attracting more and more users that is expanding and will expand strongly their interactive nets. On Facebook, a man in Vietnam can send messages to his relatives in the United States and vice versa. Likewise, people who join social networks can share their status on the platforms to others like or comment on their status. Many people, especially young, believe that joining these virtual platforms is one of the ways for entertainment. Meanwhile, some do their businesses right on the media. Behind the face of the great profits, which social media bring to, somewhere the attraction of them causes many people to overuse. There are plenty of reports on this problem show that many young people use most of their time per day for sharing status or going indefinitely around on media, instead of hanging out with friends. That is the main factor of lacking real-life skills and virtual-living sickness. An obvious example is the previous generation of college students in Vietnam, who was affected by the expansion of the virtual society industry, had not equipped essential soft skills because of the absence of realistic experiences. Ergo, many of them got shocked when facing the real world after graduating. Moreover, some people sink deeply into the virtual world and let it influence their real life. They are those who fascinate by how many likes and follows on their Facebook, Twitter, and the like but are apathetic in their life. In conclusion, It is a fact that social media help people connect. But some issues occur in virtual life that is impacting real life.
The consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks is altering the in-person interaction between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
a person and around the world and making friends or finding a partner throughout the border.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
foibles are coexistent with those advantages when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are spending too much time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and lead to the spread of virtual-living ill.

The encouragement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks in connecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on all continents is undeniable. Developing along with technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is attracting more and more users
that is
expanding and will expand
strongly
their interactive nets. On Facebook, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
in Vietnam can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
messages to his relatives in the United States and vice versa.
Likewise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks can share their status on the platforms to others like or comment on their status.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
young, believe that joining these virtual platforms is one of the ways for entertainment. Meanwhile,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
do their businesses right on the media.

Behind the face of the great profits, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
bring to, somewhere the attraction of them causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to overuse.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of reports on this problem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
most of their time per day for sharing status or going
indefinitely
around on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
instead
of hanging out with friends.
That is
the main factor of lacking real-life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and virtual-living sickness. An obvious example is the previous generation of college students in Vietnam, who was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the expansion of the virtual society industry, had not equipped essential soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the absence of realistic experiences. Ergo,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
shocked when facing the real world after graduating.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
sink
deeply
into the virtual world and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
it influence their real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. They are those who fascinate by how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
likes and follows on their Facebook, Twitter, and the like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are apathetic in their life.

In conclusion
, It is a fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
connect.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues occur in virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
that is
impacting real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay The use of social media such Facebook, Twitter are replacing face to face contact with people in every day. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
350 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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