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The use of personal cars has increased more than ever before but this use of cars causes many problems

The use of personal cars has increased more than ever before but this use of cars causes many problems l7EBb
It is undeniable that technology has made people's lives easier, faster, and more convenient. Nowadays, people using public transport are decreasing, instead the number of private vehicles is decreasing. In Vietnam, the number of motorbikes people ride is also very much, but the most significant is the number of private cars from Vietnam to the world, which leads to bad impacts on the atmosphere as well as on the environment. In the following paragraphs, I will present some problems and solutions on how to overcome this situation. To embark on, some serious problems can arise from the excessive use of personal cars such as noise pollution and air pollution. Nowadays, people have become completely dependent on their own vehicles as it takes less time to get around and away from the hustle and bustle. They often travel by car alone, which is not good because it creates noise and toxic gases, contributing to the spread of deadly diseases such as migraines, breathing difficulties, heart-related problems. Moreover, road accidents are also another serious problem due to the huge congestion on the roads as everyone is driving in a hurry because they mainly want to reach their destination on time. Furthermore, I think it has become a status symbol among individuals that make them indebted, which is not easy to get out of this situation. Likewise, personal car consumption is reaching a peak for comfortable living, but they don't know that fuel prices are also increasing that cannot fit the pockets of the poor. For example, people using public transport, they will have to pay a large amount of money for tickets. In addition, the smoke rising from this type of transport will affect the climate, because the fresh will begin to turn into pollution, which is very dangerous to human life. In conclusion, although private mode of transport is a more reliable mode of commuting, its dangerous impact cannot be negligible. So even though it offers a life of luxury, individuals should give preference to how public transport can help reduce problems in society.
It is undeniable that technology has made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easier, faster, and more convenient. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
are decreasing,
instead
the number of private vehicles is decreasing. In Vietnam, the number of motorbikes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ride is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the most significant is the number of private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
from Vietnam to the world, which leads to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impacts on the atmosphere
as well
as on the environment. In the following paragraphs, I will present
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and solutions on how to overcome this situation.

To embark on,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
can arise from the excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
such as noise pollution and air pollution. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become completely dependent on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vehicles as it takes less time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
around and away from the hustle and bustle. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
travel by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
alone, which is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it creates noise and toxic gases, contributing to the spread of deadly diseases such as migraines, breathing difficulties, heart-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Moreover
, road accidents are
also
another serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
due to the huge congestion on the roads as everyone is driving in a hurry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
mainly
want to reach their destination on time.

Furthermore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it has become a status symbol among individuals that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them indebted, which is not easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of this situation.
Likewise
, personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
consumption is reaching a peak for comfortable living,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they don't know that fuel prices are
also
increasing that cannot fit the pockets of the poor.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
, they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay a large amount of money for tickets.
In addition
, the smoke rising from this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
will affect the climate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the fresh will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to turn into pollution, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to human life.

In conclusion
, although private mode of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
is a more reliable mode of commuting, its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
impact cannot be negligible.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
even though
it offers a life of luxury, individuals should give preference to how public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in society.
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IELTS essay The use of personal cars has increased more than ever before but this use of cars causes many problems

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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