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The use of mobile phones should be banned in public spaces such as libraries , shops and transportations. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

The use of mobile phones should be banned in public spaces such as libraries, shops and transportations. 7OGy
It is undeniable that prohibition of mobile phones is debatable. Therefore, some individuals argue that at crowded areas, mobile phones should be disallowed. I partially agree with the given assertion because of distraction in libraries and in hospitals also. To commence with, there are some reasons of why mobile phones should be banned in public places. First and foremost, these devices can disturb the patients and sometimes it can also irritate others. To illustrate, the high volume ringtones can disturb the patients and may effect to health also. Thus, blocking mobile phones in hospitals is necessary. Secondly, another purpose for prohibiting the mobile phones is distraction in libraries. In such areas, there is a very peaceful atmosphere. No one likes to disturb to each other. However, by using mobile phones, one can make a mess of that relaxing feeling. For instance, phones can disturb others like when they are concentrating and suddenly the phone rings. Hence, it should be banned in libraries. On the contrary, there are some reasonable excuses for allowing mobile phones at some areas like at bus stations, shopping malls and some others. It is undebatable that mobile phones are a source of entertainment. These can use with good manners during boring time. For example, while travelling, a person can utilise the mobile phone for playing games, listening to music and so on. Therefore, there is no need to ban phones at some areas. To conclude, although this rule is not applicable for many places. Yet I believe that mobile phones should be strictly prohibited in some public zones.
It is undeniable that prohibition of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
is debatable.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals argue that at crowded areas, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
should
be disallowed
. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
assertion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of distraction in libraries and in hospitals
also
.

To commence with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons of why mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
should
be banned
in public places.
First
and foremost, these devices can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disturb
the patients and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it can
also
irritate others. To illustrate, the high volume ringtones can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disturb
the patients and may
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
to health
also
.
Thus
, blocking mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in hospitals is necessary.

Secondly
, another purpose for prohibiting the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
is distraction in libraries. In such areas, there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
peaceful atmosphere. No one likes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disturb
to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
However
, by using mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a mess of that relaxing feeling.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disturb
others like when they are concentrating and
suddenly
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
rings.
Hence
, it should
be banned
in libraries.

On the contrary
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasonable excuses for allowing mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas like at bus stations, shopping malls and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others. It is
Possible spelling mistake found.
undebatable
that mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are a source of entertainment. These can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
manners during boring time.
For example
, while travelling, a person can
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
for playing games, listening to music and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Therefore
, there is no need to ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas.

To conclude
, although this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
is not applicable for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places.
Yet
I believe that mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
should be
strictly
prohibited in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
public zones.

IELTS essay The use of mobile phones should be banned in public spaces such as libraries, shops and transportations.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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