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The use of mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shops and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The use of mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shops and on public transport. mbAYL
In recent decades, the world has been modernized a lot. Besides, it is facing a hostof serious problems which are relevant to media platforms, especially mobilephones. Some schools of thought believe this kind of tool should be prohibited in public places like libraries, shopsand on public transport. To my viewpoint, I partly endorse this sentiment. It is completely plain that a mobile phone brings a variety of advantages for us when we take a seat in a public area. The pivotal benefit is that this tool allows us to get contact with others in emergencies. In fact, no one can warrant anything which is going to occur. Hence, although we are in libraries or shops, we can get into traffic accidents anytime. In other words, should we be put into a dangerous situation in the public transport like robbery, having a phone seems to have a savior. We can make a call to the police in a quiet way by taking advantage of it. In fact, according to statistics in recent years, phones have saved hundreds of people when they encounter sudden robberies on the street. Furthermore, a smart phone creates opportunities for us to get access to a huge data document. We can search for a bulk of information in many distinct domains with which libraries can not adapt, such as: history, arechologic, . . . Therefore, we can enrich our understanding by using a phone. It is a testament to the essence of mobile phones in the learning area. On the other hand, we must accept that mobile phones would do individuals a service. The most substantive drawback is that mobile phones are the main cause of a store's downfall. When the phone is allowed to be used in a shopping place, this is parallel with consumers being able to take pictures of the items as they please. They are willing to post online and bargain for the price of the product. This proves that salespeople will be forced into a dilemma. They can neither reduce the price without the consent of the boss, nor can give objections which probably make the brand a negative social network phenomenon. Additionally, mobile phones gradually break up the relationship among humans when they appear in public vehicles. We can not deny that nowadays, people have an inextricable relationship with a phone. They default to themselves that instead of reading books or having a talk to other people while on the bus, they lean towards using phones. This lays the foundation for losing human value and being anti-social members. It also makes a country get trouble in developing a thriving economy. Put everything into a nutshell, with these arguments outlined above, I still reaffirm my perspective that using phones in public accommodation has not only weak points but also engenders some valid concerns irrespective of their ubiquity.
In recent decades, the world has
been modernized
a lot.
Besides
, it is facing a
Possible spelling mistake found.
hostof
serious problems which are relevant to media platforms,
especially
Possible spelling mistake found.
mobilephones
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
schools of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
believe this kind of tool should
be prohibited
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
places like libraries,
Possible spelling mistake found.
shopsand
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport. To my viewpoint, I partly endorse this sentiment.

It is completely plain that a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
brings a variety of advantages for us when we take a seat in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
area. The pivotal benefit is that this tool
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
contact with others in emergencies. In fact, no one can warrant anything which is going to occur.
Hence
, although we are in libraries or shops, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into traffic accidents anytime. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, should we
be put
into a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
situation in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport like robbery, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
seems to have a savior. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a call to the police
Consider replacing "in a quiet way" with the adverb for "quiet"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a quiet way
by taking advantage of it. In fact, according to statistics in recent years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have saved hundreds of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
when they encounter sudden robberies on the street.
Furthermore
, a smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
creates opportunities for us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access to a huge data document. We can search for a bulk of information in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
distinct domains with which libraries can not adapt, such as: history,
Possible spelling mistake found.
arechologic
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Therefore
, we can enrich our understanding by using a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
. It is a testament to the essence of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in the learning area.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
accept that mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
would do individuals a service. The most substantive drawback is that mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are the main cause of a store's downfall. When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in a shopping place, this is parallel with consumers being able to take pictures of the items as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
. They are willing to post online and bargain for the price of the product. This proves that salespeople will
be forced
into a dilemma. They can neither
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the price without the consent of the boss, nor can give objections which
probably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the brand a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
social network phenomenon.
Additionally
, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
gradually
break up the relationship among humans when they appear in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
vehicles. We can not deny that nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have an inextricable relationship with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
. They default to themselves that
instead
of reading books or having a talk to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
while on the bus, they lean towards using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. This lays the foundation for losing human value and being anti-social members. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
trouble in developing a thriving economy.

Put everything into a nutshell, with these arguments outlined above, I
still
reaffirm my perspective that using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
accommodation has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
weak points
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
engenders
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
valid concerns irrespective of their ubiquity.
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IELTS essay The use of mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shops and on public transport.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
475 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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