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Many young people these days I frequently changing their jobs and careers what do you think I’ll reason behind and do you think benefits outweigh the drawbacks

Many young people these days I frequently changing their jobs and careers what do you think I’ll reason behind and do you think benefits outweigh the drawbacks YgX6K
Job play an important role in our life. Nowadays, many youngsters switch their job frequently which is very popular trend. Some group of individual argue about that, there are many benefits for changing jobs and many reason behind it. I believe that its pros are outweigh the cons which discuss in the further paragraph with a logical example. On the one hand, there are many advantages of changing jobs. Such as many people prefer to change jobs in their starting 10 year of career for taking the experience in different fields. For example, in IT department. Some company do work in mobile development whereas some company work in AC department hence, the people get knowledge in both sector and then, they achieve the highest post in such company. In addition, sometime youngsters change their job for high salary and high post. Moreover, they get more knowledge from the different job and then, they start their own business. For example, due to recent survey it can established that, the big businessman are do work in different company in their starting 10 years of career, and after then, they start their own business. On the other hand, there are many disadvantages of change the job in their life. First of all is they can lost their post which achieve in the company. There are many rules in some company that, after two year they improve the employer salary. So it after two years of job employer change the job they can lost their promotion. To sum up, I believe that, there are many benefit for changing jobs such as to gain knowledge, high salary, and take more experience which is out with the drawbacks.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Job
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our life. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters switch their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
frequently
which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular trend.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
group of individual argue about that, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and
Possible agreement error. The noun reason seems to be countable; consider using: "many reasons".
many reason
behind it. I believe that its pros are
Consider using a past participle here: "outweighed".
outweigh
the cons which discuss in the
further
paragraph with a logical example.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. Such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in their starting 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of career for taking the experience in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields.
For example
, in IT department.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
Did you mean "companies"?
company
do work in mobile development whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
work in AC department
hence
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
knowledge in both sector and then, they achieve the highest post in such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

In addition
, sometime youngsters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for high salary and high post.
Moreover
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more knowledge from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and then, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business.
For example
, due to recent survey it can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "establish"
established
that, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
businessman are
Consider using a past participle here: "done".
do
work in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
in their starting 10 years of career, and after then, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in their life.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
is they can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "lose"
lost
their post which achieve in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
that, after two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the employer salary.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it after two years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
employer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
they can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "lose"
lost
their promotion.

To sum up, I believe that, there are
Possible agreement error. The noun benefit seems to be countable; consider using: "many benefits".
many benefit
for changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
such as to gain knowledge, high salary, and take more experience which is out with the drawbacks.
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IELTS essay Many young people these days I frequently changing their jobs and careers what do you think I’ll reason behind and do you think benefits outweigh the drawbacks

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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