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he table below shows the number of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the results of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. Summar v.1

he table below shows the number of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the results of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. Summar v. 1
In the modern world, travelling abroad has become a popular activity among the citizens. However, there are some type of people who prefer staying at home, and spending days with family and friends. After pondering these phenomena, I believe that being in foreign countries will definitely expand peoples' horizons. In this regard, holidays in other countries have more advantages than staying at home. First and foremost, travelling abroad is useful for personal growth and learning about another culture. During the holidays, tourists get to know popular places in the world and popular tourist destinations. Moreover, this kind of trips may suggest various kinds of activities, leading to have some pleasure time. To illustrate, peoples in the Western countries may have a chance to explore breathtaking view of mountains and unspoilt nature of wildlife in the East. Accordingly, people living in the East can enjoy the futuristic buildings of developed countries. Another important advantage of travelling on a trip is experience and knowledge. In this case, many people can gather information about the regions. Consequently, their horizons would be developed. In addition, travellers can bring some memorabilia for themselves and some presents for family and relatives. However, spending time at home may be beneficial for those who prefer being close to family members and communicating with them. In conclusion, although many people reckon to think that travelling is time consuming and boring, personally, I believe that it offers many opportunities for touring. In addition to this, it will be useful to watch other countries.
In the modern world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
abroad has become a popular activity among the citizens.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who prefer staying at home, and spending days with family and friends. After pondering these phenomena, I believe that being in foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will definitely expand peoples' horizons. In this regard, holidays in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have more advantages than staying at home.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
abroad is useful for personal growth and learning about another culture. During the holidays, tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know popular places in the world and popular tourist destinations.
Moreover
, this kind of trips may suggest various kinds of activities, leading to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pleasure time. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
in the Western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
may have a chance to explore breathtaking view of mountains and
Possible spelling mistake found.
unspoilt
nature of wildlife in the East.

Accordingly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in the East can enjoy the futuristic buildings of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
on a trip is experience and knowledge.
In this case
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can gather information about the regions.
Consequently
, their horizons would
be developed
.
In addition
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
memorabilia for themselves and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
presents for family and relatives.
However
, spending time at home may be beneficial for those who prefer being close to family members and communicating with them.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reckon to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
and boring,
personally
, I believe that it offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities for touring.
In addition
to this, it will be useful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay he table below shows the number of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the results of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. Summar v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
253 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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