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The two pie charts illustrate how different boys and girls do in their free time percentagewise. The graph in the left shows boy’s activities, the other describe girls’ activities.

The two pie charts illustrate how different boys and girls do in their free time percentagewise. The graph in the left shows boy’s activities, the other describe girls’ activities. KlBjN
The two pie charts illustrate how different boys and girls do in their free time percentagewise. The graph in the left shows boy’s activities, the other describe girls’ activities. Overall, both boys and girls like listening to music, playing computer games and reading books. In contrast, only girls like doing gymnastic, dancing, and playing netball while none of them fancies playing basketball, playing soccer or skateboarding. According to the chart, about 34% of boys like playing computer games and there is tiny number of boys reading books in leisure time, only 2%. Playing basketball and playing football are also the favorite activities of boys as 26% of them like playing basketball and it is much more than football’s percentage 9%. There is about one-tenth boys relax by listening to music, and 11% of them skateboarding in the leisure time. On the other side, dancing is the most favorite kind of entertainment of girls as 27 percent of them do it in their free time, while only one-tenth girls listen to music to relax. The percentage of young woman would love to do gymnastic is as same as the guys’ desire to skate board. Reading is also a popular leisure activity of girls, as 21% of young lady wish to do and it is much more than the percentage of playing computer games 5% and there is about 15 percent of schoolgirl like playing netball in their free time.
The two pie charts illustrate how
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different
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boys
and
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girls
do in their free
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time
Possible spelling mistake found.
percentagewise
. The graph in the
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left
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "shows'" or "show's"?
shows
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boy’s
activities, the other
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describe
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girls’
activities.

Overall
, both
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boys
and
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girls
like listening to music,
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playing
computer games and reading books.
In contrast
,
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only
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girls
like doing gymnastic, dancing, and
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playing
netball while none of them fancies
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playing
basketball,
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playing
soccer or skateboarding.

According to the chart, about 34% of
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boys
like
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playing
computer games and there is tiny number of
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boys
reading books in leisure
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time
,
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only
2%.
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Playing
basketball and
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playing
football are
also
the favorite activities of
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boys
as 26% of them like
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playing
basketball and it is much more than football’s percentage 9%. There is about one-tenth
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boys
relax by listening to music, and 11% of them skateboarding in the leisure time.

On the other side, dancing is the most favorite kind of entertainment of
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girls
as 27 percent of them do it in their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one-tenth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
listen to music to relax. The percentage of young woman would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to do gymnastic is as same as the guys’ desire to skate board. Reading is
also
a popular leisure activity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
, as 21% of young lady wish to do and it is much more than the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer games 5% and there is about 15 percent of schoolgirl like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
netball in their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
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IELTS essay The two pie charts illustrate how different boys and girls do in their free time percentagewise. The graph in the left shows boy’s activities, the other describe girls’ activities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
238 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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