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the two major disadvantages of college students

the two major disadvantages of college students m8r9K
Almost everyone will agree that financial status and self-learning ability are the two major disadvantages of college students. First of all, tuition is the first obstacle they must face. Compared with high school, university is a completely different world. Unlike high school courses, university students must learn more. Therefore, the money they want to squander must be greater than before. Eventually, if students cannot manage their own finances and pay tuition fees on time, they will be expelled from school. Every year, many students decide to drop out of school only because of tuition fees. This unexpected reason may prevent them from chasing their dreams and finding a suitable job in the near future. For students in affluent society, this does not seem to be a big problem, but students living in poverty are quite the opposite. This problem cannot be resolved on the first day or the second day, and it may be an extremely long-term process.
Almost everyone will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that financial status and self-learning ability are the two major disadvantages of college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, tuition is the
first
obstacle they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
face. Compared with high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, university is a completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
world. Unlike high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
courses, university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
learn more.
Therefore
, the money they want to squander
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be greater than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Eventually
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
cannot manage their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
finances and pay tuition fees on time, they will
be expelled
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Every year,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
decide to drop out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of tuition fees. This unexpected reason may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from chasing their dreams and finding a suitable job in the near future. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in affluent society, this does not seem to be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
living in poverty are quite the opposite. This problem cannot
be resolved
on the
first
day or the second day, and it may be an
extremely
long-term process.
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IELTS essay the two major disadvantages of college students

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
158 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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