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The two floor plans show the renovation of AAA Accountancy's main office. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The two floor plans show the renovation of AAA Accountancy's main office.
We have been the witness of urban development during the current era. The construction sector is transforming the entire civilization into a different direction where every single facility will be within a walking distance. So that anyone can avail it during emergencies. This essay will elaborate the positive points in first section and in second part you are able to get to know what the disadvantages are after such urbanization. Coming to the section, as per my standard points, urbanization helps the society to grow in another beautiful direction which not only provides us a modern lifestyle but also assures one to bring balance to a daily schedule. Mostly, this category of society is raising up near the Information Technology sectors which is reducing the gap between office and home place. For example, in Kolkata, the Sapoorji Paloonji raised up a few years back with numerous facilities such as public & children's park, a swimming pool, various sports areas & shopping centre. With all the facilities where people would love to stay there in order to balance their life with tight work schedule. In short, to spend free time with family members, such developments is required nowadays for maintaining a healthy lifestyle. In other hand, in order to make our life easy and comfortable we are losing space for the cultivation which is affecting the entire farming system. As fertile land areas, decreasing, our entire civilization may lack of having naturally growing crops & vegetables. In short, while planning to transform our life to other paths, we must keep in mind the entire farming system. In conclusion, modernization extends crucial for our lifestyle, but to some it can be harmful when we cannot save the fertile land for crops and grains.
We have been the witness of urban development during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
era. The construction sector is transforming the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entire
civilization into a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
direction where every single facility will be within a walking distance.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
anyone can avail it during emergencies. This essay will elaborate the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
points in
first
section and in second part you are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know what the disadvantages are after such urbanization.

Coming to the section, as per my standard points, urbanization
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the society to grow in another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
direction which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provides us a modern lifestyle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
assures one to bring balance to a daily schedule.
Mostly
, this category of society is raising up near the Information Technology sectors which is reducing the gap between office and home place.
For example
, in Kolkata, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sapoorji
Possible spelling mistake found.
Paloonji
raised up a few years back with numerous facilities such as public & children's park, a swimming pool, various sports areas & shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
. With all the facilities where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to stay there in order to balance their life with tight work schedule. In short, to spend free time with family members, such developments
is required
nowadays for maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

In other hand, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our life easy and comfortable we are losing space for the cultivation which is affecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entire
farming system. As fertile land areas, decreasing, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entire
civilization may lack of having
naturally
growing crops & vegetables. In short, while planning to transform our life to other paths, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in mind the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entire
farming system.

In conclusion
, modernization extends crucial for our lifestyle,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
it can be harmful when we cannot save the fertile land for crops and grains.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The two floor plans show the renovation of AAA Accountancy's main office.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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