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The two figure below show the rate of criminal convictions among men and women of diferent age

The two figure below show the rate of criminal convictions among men and women of diferent age 6KE8B
These two figures below indicate the proportion of criminal convictions among men and women of different ages in the Uk and rate of male and female prisoners in the British prison system Overall, In Uk, there has a massive rate of male who commit crime and a minor rate of female In details of the first figure, it is clearly that the rate of conviction male outweigh that of female, at about 96% of men and 4% of women. In second figure, there was a similar among the raise, the highest and the decrease in the rate of age of offender. The proportion of offender at the age of ten to fifteen tends to increase significantly and reach the highest rate at the age of 20 in both male and female percentage of conviction, 16% at male and 5% at female. In contrast, the rate of both genre decrease heavily at the age of 20 to 60, from 5% to 0% at women and from 16% to 2% at men. The rate of male deliquincy at the age of 40 to 45 and that of female at the age of 45 to 55 stay unchanged
These two figures below indicate the proportion of criminal convictions among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women of
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different
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ages
in the
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Uk
and
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rate
of male and
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female
prisoners in the British prison system

Overall
, In
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Uk
, there has a massive
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rate
of male who commit crime and a minor
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rate
of female

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of the
first
figure, it is
clearly
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of conviction male outweigh that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
, at about 96% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and 4% of women. In second figure, there was a similar among the raise, the highest and the decrease in the
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rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of offender. The proportion of offender at the
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age
of ten to fifteen tends to increase
significantly
and reach the highest
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rate
at the
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age
of 20 in both male and
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female
percentage of conviction, 16% at male and 5% at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
.
In contrast
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of both genre decrease
heavily
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 20 to 60, from 5% to 0% at women and from 16% to 2% at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of male
Possible spelling mistake found.
deliquincy
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 40 to 45 and that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 45 to 55
Possible agreement error. The noun 'stay' seems to be countable, so consider using: "stays".
stay
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
unchanged

IELTS essay The two figure below show the rate of criminal convictions among men and women of diferent age

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
194 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
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Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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