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Write about overpopulation

Write about overpopulation wMYre
Overpopulation is always a problem of global concern. Currently, many countries of the world are experiencing problems caused by rapidly growing populations in urban areas, and both governments and individuals must find ways to overcome these problems. The main reason is the birth rate continues to be maintained. Meanwhile, the death rate tends to decrease due to improved living conditions and the strong development of science and technology. Besides, many people prefer to move to developed countries like the US, UK, Canada, and Australia, where the best facilities are available in terms of medical, education, security, and employment. The result is that those people settle over there, and making those places overcrowded. In terms of solutions, I believe the government should be largely responsible. Firstly, the state must provide essential housing and healthcare for all its citizens. Secondly, setting up community projects to help foster more community spirit. Moreover, Individuals must be fully aware of the consequences of overpopulation and put pressure on the government to ensure they address it.
Overpopulation is always a problem of global concern.
Currently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries of the world are experiencing problems caused by
rapidly
growing populations in urban areas, and both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
find ways to overcome these problems. The main reason is the birth rate continues to
be maintained
. Meanwhile, the death rate tends to decrease due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
living conditions and the strong development of science and technology.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
like the US, UK, Canada, and Australia, where the best facilities are available in terms of medical, education, security, and employment. The result is that those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
settle over there, and making those places overcrowded. In terms of solutions, I believe the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should be
largely
responsible.
Firstly
, the state
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
provide essential housing and healthcare for all its citizens.
Secondly
, setting up community projects to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
foster more community spirit.
Moreover
, Individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
fully
aware of the consequences of overpopulation and put pressure on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to ensure they address it.
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IELTS essay Write about overpopulation

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
170 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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