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The trend towards smaller family unity and households is a positive development. To what extend do you agree with this statement?

The trend towards smaller family unity and households is a positive development. waGkY
Currently, people prefer to have a family with few children and get away from abundance of households. I reckon this is a positive phenomenon and back up the worldwide attitude. To start with, a family which is small in size occupy a privileged position within the society for high quality lifestyle. It is irrefutable fact that, sizeable amount of the family expenditure is spent on food. Obviously, the food products sustaining us healthy and energetic are pricey. In this juncture, a small-sized family manages to provide while a large family could not maintain the balance between natural demand and financial support. Addition to this, every member of the family desires to follow the trends in a highly developing world. These are urges for clothing, gadgets, entertainment and other means of socializing. Apparently, the parents with many children have to cut down the spending on healthy lifestyle to meet their demands. In that case, trendy families which consist of small units, enjoy delightful life respectively. Apart from abovementioned, in order to lead a normal life children ought to have been educated well. They may have education fees, tutorials on music, sport, art and such kind of after-school activities. Inevitably, we have a handful of families to have working parents. Only working parent with a lot of family members is likely to be in difficulty whereas education of the children is highlighted in small families. To the top, there is a moral issue to be confronted: the order of children. Naturally, the youngest children attract parents more as they need early support. Attention paid fairly much to the youngest, the rest feel upset or marooned. Besides, the eldest child is in the spotlight for their education, equality among contemporaries and so on. As opposed to the above ideas, numerous people are inclined to believe that, large, traditional families are beneficial for the siblings when they are in daunting situation, and they offer sympathy one another. The way I see it, everything depends on early upbringing and the modeling by parents. In my personal experience, I have met numberless families which are very considerate and supportive despite of the quantity. Surprisingly, there are great deals of siblings who never give a hand each other, having loathing feeling in spite of having grown up in large, extended families. All things considered, I hold with the idea of positive sides of small families. It is a new approach to the life, creating all adequate life facilities for every member of the family. However I do not consider myself as a life coach. “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. ” Any person has a divine right to live a full and happy life.
Currently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
with few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
away from abundance of households. I reckon this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
phenomenon and back up the worldwide attitude. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
which is
A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
small in size
occupy a privileged position within the society for high quality lifestyle. It is irrefutable fact that, sizeable amount of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
expenditure
is spent
on food.
Obviously
, the food products sustaining us healthy and energetic are pricey. In this juncture, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
-sized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
manages to provide while a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
could not maintain the balance between natural demand and financial support. Addition to this, every member of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
desires to follow the trends in a
highly
developing world. These are urges for clothing, gadgets, entertainment and other means of socializing.
Apparently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down the spending on healthy lifestyle to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their demands.
In that case
, trendy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
which consist of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
units, enjoy delightful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
respectively
. Apart from
Possible spelling mistake found.
abovementioned
, in order to lead a normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
ought to have
been educated
well. They may have education fees, tutorials on music, sport, art and such kind of after-school activities.
Inevitably
, we have a handful of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
to have working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members is likely to be in difficulty whereas education of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is highlighted
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. To the top, there is a moral issue to
be confronted
: the order of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Naturally
, the youngest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
they need early support. Attention paid
fairly
much to the youngest, the rest feel upset or marooned.
Besides
, the eldest child is in the spotlight for their education, equality among contemporaries and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. As opposed to the above
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are inclined
to believe that, large, traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are beneficial for the siblings when they are in daunting situation, and they offer sympathy one another. The way I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it, everything depends on early upbringing and the modeling by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. In my personal experience, I have met numberless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
considerate and supportive
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
the quantity.
Surprisingly
, there are great deals of siblings who never give a hand each other, having loathing feeling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
having grown up in large, extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. All things considered, I hold with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. It is a new approach to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, creating all adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
facilities for every member of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
I do not consider myself as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
coach. “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. ” Any person has a divine right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a full and happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay The trend towards smaller family unity and households is a positive development.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
449 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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