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the transformation of condition of a public place, namely the Grange Park

the transformation of condition of a public place, namely the Grange Park m2d1N
The figures presented below illustrate the recent condition of a public place, namely the Grange Park since it ha, s been established in 1920. Overall, there are a number of facilites’ changes in this place. In the first picture, Grange Park had only two facilites that were located in the center of its area, namely the stage for musicians and the fountain. These facilites, subsequently, were surrounded by rose gardens. One of these gardens were situated in the south of the stage for musicians. Meanwhile, the other gardens were located on the left side and the right side of the north entrance, respectively. There were also four seats which two of them could be found at the west area of this park, and the others were placed on the left side of the north entrance and south entrance, respectively. There were also additional seats which were located in the east side of Grange Park. This park, furthermore, also had been providing the pond for water plants on the north side of the park, specifically in the right corner. However, the configuration of this park has been transformed. The stage form musicians and the fountains are no longer available. Instead, these facilites has changed as the rose garden which surrounded by four seats. Nowadays, the east side of this park is fulfilled by the amphitheatre, whilst in the right corner on the north side, there is children’s play area. The glasshouse, which had been known as one of initial facilites in the park, recently, has been replaced by the water feature.
The figures presented below illustrate the recent condition of a public place,
namely
the Grange
Park
since it ha, s
been established
in 1920.
Overall
, there are a number of
facilites
changes
in this place.

In the
first
picture, Grange
Park
had
only
two
facilites
that
were located
in the center of its area,
namely
the stage for musicians and the fountain. These
facilites
,
subsequently
,
were surrounded
by rose
gardens
. One of these
gardens
were situated
in the south of the stage for musicians. Meanwhile, the other
gardens
were located
on the
left
side and the right side of the
north
entrance,
respectively
. There were
also
four seats which two of them could
be found
at the west area of this
park
, and the others
were placed
on the
left
side of the
north
entrance and south entrance,
respectively
. There were
also
additional seats which
were located
in the east side of Grange
Park
. This
park
,
furthermore
,
also
had been providing the pond for water plants on the
north
side of the
park
,
specifically
in the right corner.

However
, the configuration of this
park
has
been transformed
. The stage form musicians and the fountains are no longer available.
Instead
, these
facilites
has
changed
as the rose
garden
which surrounded by four seats. Nowadays, the east side of this
park
is fulfilled
by the
amphitheatre
, whilst in the right corner on the
north
side,
there is children
’s play area. The glasshouse, which had
been known
as one of initial
facilites
in the
park
, recently, has
been replaced
by the water feature.
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IELTS essay the transformation of condition of a public place, namely the Grange Park

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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