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Cable TV subscriptions like True Vision or UBC are a waste of money because we can watch most things on cheaper platforms. Do you agree or disagree?

Cable TV subscriptions like True Vision or UBC are a waste of money because we can watch most things on cheaper platforms. m2db1
There are two main reasons why that Cable Tv are waste of fund because we able to have most things on cheaper platforms. In my perspective, this argument should be agree. First and foremost, in the modern world online platforms are becoming replaced to cable tv, such as Youtube, Netflix and DisneyPlus. To clarify, Those of them are have more interesting genre of entertainment. Moreover, most individuals aware that are suitable for them because it is convenient to use. For instance, in general people are usually consume to watching some entertainment for rest, they prefer online platforms. Hence, most people are not intersted in cable TV anymore. In addition, cable tv is not a vital object for some people, it waste of time and money. To explain, nowadays money is very vital for everyone, people have to use it careful. For example, they should not spend their income to unnecessary things, such as cable tv that is very expensive. Therefore, people have to considered the way they spend their money. In conclusion, this argument can be agreed as cable tv is a waste of money. Furthermore, nowadays nobody are intersted in this platforom and some of them are look at other platforms that cheapper and suite for them.
There are two main reasons why that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cable
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
are waste of fund
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Did you mean "we are" or "we were"?
we
able to have most things on cheaper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
. In my perspective, this argument should be
Consider using the past participle "agreed"?
agree
.

First
and foremost, in the modern world online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
are becoming replaced to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cable
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
, such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youtube
, Netflix and
Possible spelling mistake found.
DisneyPlus
. To clarify, Those of them are
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
more interesting genre of entertainment.
Moreover
, most individuals aware that are suitable for them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is convenient to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
For instance
,
in general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
usually
consume to watching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
entertainment for rest, they prefer online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
.
Hence
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not
Possible spelling mistake found.
intersted
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cable
TV anymore.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cable
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
is not a vital object for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'it'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
it waste
of time and money. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, nowadays money is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vital for everyone,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it careful.
For example
, they should not spend their income to unnecessary things, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cable
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
Did you mean "to consider"?
to considered
the way they spend their money.

In conclusion
, this argument can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cable
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
is a waste of money.
Furthermore
, nowadays nobody
The pronoun 'nobody' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "is", "was", "were".
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
intersted
in this
Possible spelling mistake found.
platforom
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them are look at other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
cheapper
and suite for them.
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IELTS essay Cable TV subscriptions like True Vision or UBC are a waste of money because we can watch most things on cheaper platforms.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
208 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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