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The traditional lifestyle of developing countries has been attracting an increasing number of tourists. As a side-effect this has been preventing the people in developing countries from adopting modern ways of living. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give your opinion and examples from personal experience.

The traditional lifestyle of developing countries has been attracting an increasing number of tourists. As a side-effect this has been preventing the people in developing countries from adopting modern ways of living. Give your opinion and examples from personal experience. WmRlb
Developing countries such as India, China, and Brazil are rich with traditional heritage. Their culture and traditions are of thousand years old, and amalgamation of various cultures from ages among them. Owing to this fact, these destinations are stationed with many good tourist spots which are attracting tourists from various nations over the years. Moreover, by increasing in number of tourists the government of tourism not only earning heftily, but also producing employment. Further, these also induces globalization in that country. Hence, I believe that it has been helping people of these countries to enhance modern way of living. Firstly, due to this practice in developing nations, many people are earning their daily bread by selling many kind of objects. Further, it helps government to earn revenue to restore and manage these tourist spots. For instance, the great wall of china is one of the wonder of world, and a great tourist spot. People from many countries visit this spot. This help Chinese government not only in earn revenue, but also in restoring the remnants which had been getting fallen over the years. In this way this auspicious monuments are getting preserved. Several many spots can be observed across India also. Secondly, increase in population of tourist in these spots also changing the life style of the surround population. of course, tourists come from several part of world with different life styles, who are not accustom with the life style of the residents. For this reason, the residents are adopting some of their life style so that it can create a symbiotic ambiance. Therefore the residents are not adhere to their early life style and changing their life style with modern changes within their society. Thus over the period these life style factor also effecting their style in a modern way. Finally, by increase in the population of tourists not only the government are getting benefit, but also the surrounding demography also updating their way of life. In this way a mutually productive environment is established across these developing countries. Furthermore, the life style of residents are changing with the modern changes to make their life more suitable.
Developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as India, China, and Brazil are rich with traditional heritage. Their culture and traditions are of thousand years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, and amalgamation of various cultures from ages among them. Owing to this fact, these destinations
are stationed
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spots
which are attracting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
from various nations over the years.
Moreover
, by increasing in number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of tourism not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
earning
heftily
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
producing employment.
Further
, these
also
induces globalization in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Hence
, I believe that it has been helping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
way of living.

Firstly
, due to this practice in developing nations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are earning their daily bread by selling
Possible agreement error. The noun kind seems to be countable; consider using: "many kinds".
many kind
of objects.
Further
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to earn revenue to restore and manage these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spots
.
For instance
, the
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
great wall of china
is one of the wonder of world, and a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spot
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
visit this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spot
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
Chinese
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government
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in earn revenue,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in restoring the remnants which had been getting fallen over the years. In this way this auspicious monuments are getting preserved. Several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spots
can
be observed
across India
also
.

Secondly
, increase in population of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spots
also
changing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
of the surround population.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
of
course,
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tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
Possible agreement error. The noun part seems to be countable; consider using: "several parts".
several part
of world with
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different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
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styles
, who are not
The usual collocation for "accustom" is "to" not "with". Did you mean "accustom to"?
accustom with
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
.
For this reason
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
are adopting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it can create a symbiotic ambiance.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
are not
Consider using a past participle here: "adhered".
adhere
to their early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
and changing their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
within their society.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
over the period these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
factor
also
effecting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
way.

Finally
, by increase in the population of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
are getting benefit,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the surrounding demography
also
updating their way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In this way a
mutually
productive environment
is established
across these developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
are changing with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more suitable.
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IELTS essay The traditional lifestyle of developing countries has been attracting an increasing number of tourists. As a side-effect this has been preventing the people in developing countries from adopting modern ways of living. Give your opinion and examples from personal experience.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
358 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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