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benefits of tertiary education

benefits of tertiary education ElBoL
Nowaday, to catch up with the development of society, many people try to attend universities because of many benefits. That advantages of tertiary education will be discussed by this following essay. Firstly, universities help people learn everything which is helpful for them. Students enjoy and discover the new horizon through the knowledge from book and the experience from the lecture. They can become scientists to study or discover new intentions to apply into our life or become an excellent businessman to do rich for country, ect. Of course, they must be trained and supplied basic knowledges by teachers or professors. It can be said that university is the first step for further development in any career. Secondly, students go to tertiary education to have new experiences. They have a chance to participate in seminars or social activities that help them more self-confident and learn more new experiments in their life and career later. Universities, especially, multi-national universities at which you can see and make friend with international students is really an ideal environment to build up such companionship. Finally, career preparation is becoming more and more important to young people. They know that the job market is competitive. Therefore, at universities, students have many chances to practice in the big company or firm to accumulate good experiences before graduating at university. Their background at universities will prefer their application to a leading company, and deeply impress the employer by showing up how well they performed in studying. In addition, the knowledge from university as well as the experience over a period also benefits your work and your promotion in future. In conclusion, I would recommend that people are encouraged to attend college or university to have new experiences and learn about themselves and the world they live in. When they have enough basic knowledge, I suppose that they will make their country as well as our world more and more developing and modern.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nowaday
, to catch up with the development of society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits. That advantages of tertiary education will
be discussed
by this following essay.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
learn everything which is helpful for them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
enjoy and discover the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
horizon through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
from book and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
from the lecture. They can become scientists to study or discover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
intentions to apply into our life or become an excellent businessman to do rich for country,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ect
.
Of course
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be trained
and supplied basic
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledges
by teachers or professors. It can
be said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is the
first
step for
further
development in any career.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
go to tertiary education to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
. They have a chance to participate in seminars or social activities that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them more self-confident and learn more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
experiments in their life and career later.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
,
especially
, multi-national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
at which you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friend with international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is
really
an ideal environment to build up such companionship.

Finally
, career preparation is becoming more and more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They know that the job market is competitive.
Therefore
, at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
chances to practice in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
or firm to accumulate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
The verb 'to graduate' requires the preposition 'from': "graduating from".
graduating
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. Their background at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
will prefer their application to a leading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, and
deeply
impress the employer by showing up how well they performed in studying.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
over a period
also
benefits your work and your promotion
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

In conclusion
, I would recommend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are encouraged
to attend college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
and learn about themselves and the world they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in. When they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, I suppose that they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their country
as well
as our world more and more developing and modern.
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IELTS essay benefits of tertiary education

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
323 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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