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childhood obesity in the developed world

childhood obesity in the developed world leYn1

In the developed nations, obesity in children is increasing and is a major issue. In order to tackle this issue, some people suggest banning advertisements of surgery food and snacks, which are somehow related to the obesity, in the schools and colleges. In my opinion, this ban might not be effective since advertisements are everywhere nowadays and it is impossible to make them not to be seen by children. The power of advertisements of those fast food chains is humongous in this modern day. They can be seen from the size of tiny square on a random wall to the huge billboards on the front wall of prominent buildings. They seem virtually penetrated into people's daily lives without even noticing them. As a result, due to this enormous influence, it is so difficult to make them invisible from day to day life. However, one possible way to minimise this overwhelming influence is educating the children about the importance of good nutrients and encouraging them to engage more in sport activities. Even so, there is no guarantee outcome that the youth will opt healthier options of food. The reason is, as a general rule of thumb, fast food or unhealthy snacks usually taste better than so-called healthy and clean food, and the children might not be able to resist the temptation of these food. To sum up, just merely prohibiting the adverts from the walls of schools will not make any big impact and is not the correct method to tackle the obesity problem in children.

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 suggest banning advertisements of surgery You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfeedcuisinesnackmeatdrinkfoodstuff
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 and snacks, which are somehow related to the obesity, in the schools and colleges. Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
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make
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children
. The power of advertisements of those This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:quickrapidswiftprompt
fast
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food
 chains is humongous in this modern day. They can be This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :witnessed
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 from the size of tiny square on a random wall to the huge billboards on the front wall of prominent buildings. They seem virtually
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, due to this enormous influence, it is This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
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make
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, one possible way to Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.minimize
minimise
 this overwhelming influence is educating the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinfanttoddleradolescentjuvenileyouthteenager
children
 about the importance of This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :beneficialproduct
good
 nutrients and encouraging them to engage more in sport activities. Even This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
, there is no guarantee outcome that the youth will opt healthier options of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfeedcuisinesnackmeatdrinkfoodstuff
food
. The reason is, as a general This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :requirement
rule
 of thumb, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:quickrapidswiftprompt
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food
 or unhealthy snacks usually
 taste better than This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
-called healthy and clean You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfeedcuisinesnackmeatdrinkfoodstuff
food
, and the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinfanttoddleradolescentjuvenileyouthteenager
children
 might not be able to resist the temptation of these You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfeedcuisinesnackmeatdrinkfoodstuff
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. To sum up, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:merely
just
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 prohibiting the adverts from the walls of schools will not This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :createconstructmanufactureproduce
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 any This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:hugeenormousgiganticvast
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 impact and is not the correct method to tackle the obesity problem in You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinfanttoddleradolescentjuvenileyouthteenager
children
. 