Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

childhood obesity in the developed world

childhood obesity in the developed world leYn1
In the developed nations, obesity in children is increasing and is a major issue. In order to tackle this issue, some people suggest banning advertisements of surgery food and snacks, which are somehow related to the obesity, in the schools and colleges. In my opinion, this ban might not be effective since advertisements are everywhere nowadays and it is impossible to make them not to be seen by children. The power of advertisements of those fast food chains is humongous in this modern day. They can be seen from the size of tiny square on a random wall to the huge billboards on the front wall of prominent buildings. They seem virtually penetrated into people's daily lives without even noticing them. As a result, due to this enormous influence, it is so difficult to make them invisible from day to day life. However, one possible way to minimise this overwhelming influence is educating the children about the importance of good nutrients and encouraging them to engage more in sport activities. Even so, there is no guarantee outcome that the youth will opt healthier options of food. The reason is, as a general rule of thumb, fast food or unhealthy snacks usually taste better than so-called healthy and clean food, and the children might not be able to resist the temptation of these food. To sum up, just merely prohibiting the adverts from the walls of schools will not make any big impact and is not the correct method to tackle the obesity problem in children.
In the developed nations, obesity in
children
is increasing and is a major issue. In order to tackle this issue,
some
people
suggest banning advertisements of surgery
food
and snacks, which are somehow related to the obesity, in the schools and colleges.
In
my opinion, this ban might not be effective since advertisements are everywhere nowadays and it is impossible to
make
them not to be
seen
by
children
. The power of advertisements of those
fast
food
chains is humongous in this modern day. They can be
seen
from the size of tiny square on a random wall to the huge billboards on the front wall of prominent buildings. They seem
virtually
penetrated into
people
's daily
lives
without even noticing them.
As a result
, due to this enormous influence, it is
so
difficult to
make
them invisible from day to day life.
However
, one possible way to
minimise
this overwhelming influence is educating the
children
about the importance of
good
nutrients and encouraging them to engage more in sport activities. Even
so
, there is no guarantee outcome that the youth will opt healthier options of
food
. The reason is, as a general
rule
of thumb,
fast
food
or unhealthy snacks
usually
taste better than
so
-called healthy and clean
food
, and the
children
might not be able to resist the temptation of these
food
. To sum up,
just
merely
prohibiting the adverts from the walls of schools will not
make
any
big
impact and is not the correct method to tackle the obesity problem in
children
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay childhood obesity in the developed world

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
255 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts